28 February 2012


The space where you were is like an unavoidable void, it grows with every second since you were there.  

I lie, with thoughts and memories of the feel of your body, the gentleness of your touch, the feel of your tongue.

The trail of kisses that you left down my back and over the cheeks of my ass, the tiny welts where your nails followed the same trail.
Although the bed is empty now, the weight of your body keeps me there.

The way your mouth hungrily found me, teased me, tasted me.  The gentle nips and bites to the softest of skin, making me lost in the way that you made me feel. 

The way you held my face in your hands, the light and depth within your eyes.  My heart stopped for that moment, because in that moment in time, you stole me with a kiss. 

04 February 2012

Closing doors and busy days

I don't know where the time goes . . .here we are into another month and it has been ages (well just over a week lol) since I have done any writing.

The pressures of work have put a dampener on the creative side of my writing right now, the realities of life have led me to do a lot of thinking too.

Some things have happened in the past few weeks, one which left me, at the time, feeling edgy and uncomfortable,  which often happens when someone "re-opens" a door uninvited.

Still, I don't know why I even thought that re-opening was or could be the right thing, but I do know without a shadow of a doubt, that firmly closing it is and has been completely the right thing.  I actually hate it when people just come and go as they wish, when they want to, when they do so without thought of their actions.  But closing that door also confirms in my mind that the decision I make not to "revisit" is the best one that works for me.

So, firmly closing it quickly took away the uncomfortable feelings, and it has brought a feeling of relief.  Close the door and let out a big sigh of relief.  That was exactly how it was. And a couple of weeks further on, knowing it was totally the right thing to do and wishing that the door, which was closed some time ago, had never actually been re-opened. But then, I didn't re-open it, but I have very firmly closed it. 

No more uncomfortable feelings, no more "edgy", but knowing that yes, leave those doors closed, is by far the best thing to do.

I don't know why I thought it may be different.

It never is.

But maybe I need that reaffirming, to know that my decision to leave the doors closed, or to make sure they are not re-opened again is the best one.  It always has been for me, this time proved no different.

And, I've been busy planning and getting the initial things for the holiday booked and although I would love to return to New York, this year, the holiday is going to be to Italy.

Never been.  So it's all very new, but very exciting.

Spending time in Rome, Lake Garda and Venice, its certainly going to be a different trip.  But looking forward to it all the same.  And so going to have a nice Italian man on my gondola!

Life seems incredibly busy at the moment, work is busy, home is busy, and my Christmas present to myself of a dishwasher is the best thing I've ever bought LOL