02 August 2012

House Slaves and House Maids

There was a discussion going over on IC some time ago, talking about house slaves/house maids HERE and I do not think it is surprising that people often wonder what someone can get out of such service.

Some truly fail to see how someone can be fulfilled in this way, although quite often it seems the ones who cannot understand it come into D/s with a completely different outlook as to what it is and what it means to them ~ which is understandable.  If it isn't their thing, if it doesn't fulfill their needs, they aren't likely to fully understand how it can to others.  Some people will make comments because they speak out of ignorance, looking down on people who are fulfilled in such a way.  But simply; they just don't get it.

But, to me, I totally get it.

Totally get that someone can be fulfilled from such a service orientated role.  That they can simply be pleased and have fulfilment from making someone's life easier.  This however, isn't an easy thing to find, there are very few who truly want or who could be at ease within such a role.  It seems that the number of people who search for such, who long or desire such, decreases by the day.  They are certainly quite rare it would appear.

Within that thread, there is a male submissive, who explains what he gets from his service in this way, of how it works for him . . .it seems that the service he provides is such a rare thing, but what stood out for me, is what he gets from it, of how he explains how it fulfills him and his needs.  It goes on to show that it isn't just about having a service submissive, but that it is something quite special.  His words, actually spoke volumes, so much so that I wanted to share it here. 

The IC member Lanterne_Rouge  wrote this . . .

I've served in this way for a decade or so, with one Lady in particular for the last few years.

I don't "get off" on housework (as it was described in the original post); it doesn't give me a sexual thrill and at home it's just chores that I do. In normal working life I've got a stressful and senior role. I very rarely actual "do" anything, I'm more often juggling people and other resources or working on strategy and other long term guff, generating excel sheets and powerpoints. 

Performing service for a Lady allows me to completely switch this off. I'm usually doing something quite manual for her, and able to focus on quite tightly defined tasks ("Clean the oven") rather than dealing with the uncertainties and open ended work items of my job. I can perform a task, and see it through to completion. I may even get some praise for it if done well. For a while I can simply exist, which is fantastically mentally relaxing even when I'm rushing around scrubbing, polishing, cooking, whatever. There is a real satisfaction in a job well done - and, conversely, real disappointment and shame if she finds something I've missed that she then needs to complain about or punish me for.

Sometimes I work with close supervision (there is nothing that concentrates the mind quite so much as the Lady pacing up and down, flexing a riding crop or paddle and sometimes swatting me if I'm not fast enough, or thorough enough). That tends to be when she is in a more playful mood and wants to enjoy watching me toil for her, and exert her dominance - or if she's just had a rough day at work and wants to work out some pent up aggression.
Other times, I'm told what to do and left to get on with it whilst she goes into her study to catch up on work, or relaxes with a glass of wine and a good book. In this case I may prepare and serve her a meal whilst also ensuring that the kitchen is left spotless (regardless of its state when I arrived) and any other tasks have been completed. In these sessions I may have very little interaction with her. 

The goal and satisfaction for me come in seeing that she is feeling relaxed and pampered. There is no expectation or hope that I'll get anything beyond a pat on the head and a thank you as I leave. It feels especially good if she has examined my work and not found any real issues with it.

With the Lady that I've been lucky enough to work for over the last few years there is no intimate service involved - although she knows that I appreciate seeing ladies in general wearing fully fashioned stockings and heels (well, I'm a bloke, aren't I!), so will sometimes wear them when I'm serving her as a treat (always with a decent length skirt, an elegant not a tarty look). This isn't always the case; she may equally often be wearing "slouchy" clothes - jeans and an old t-shirt or jumper chosen purely for comfort rather than looks. I have no expectations or demands on her.
I wear what she tells me to wear, which will usually reflect any particular jobs that she needs doing. That may be workwear (trousers and t-shirt) for hard work DIY/seriously dirty tasks or gardening, or if she fancies some eye-candy as I work around the house doing general cleaning she'll have me wear a short skirt, stockings and heels or perhaps a leather slave harness as the mood takes her.

On the odd occasion that I've been privileged to serve when she's had an evening with a few of the girls around (so ensuring that the house is clean when they arrive, serving drinks and nibbles, cooking & serving food, clearing up afterwards) she's preferred me either in waiter-style black trousers, white shirt and bow tie or alternatively blouse, skirt, stockings and heels depending upon which particular ladies are her guests. Wearing non-street clothes does help me get into the service head space, but is non-essential to my enjoyment.
So, back to the original question - there is a well understood dynamic between us. We both know what we'll get out of the arrangement, and enjoy each others company (often having fits of giggles together rather than behaving strictly in Mistress/servant roles). We sometimes meet socially as equals in a pub or coffee bar just for a natter and a drink. I'd find it hard to serve somebody that I don't like and respect - if that was the case then how could I get my enjoyment from seeing her needs met?

From her point of view, she obviously gets all the nasty jobs done that she dislikes (oven cleaning, floors scrubbed etc.) and any tricky handyman stuff, but beyond that also gets an evening of feeling both empowered and pampered - or if she's working late whilst I'm performing my chores then simply having her life made a little easier during a busy period. One of my best moments - seeing my Lady swell up with pride when one of her guests at the end of an evening said that she wished she had the services of someone like me.

I know that I could quite easily be that guest who said she wished she had the services of someone like him.  Because quite simply, it would just be perfect.  Someone who is able to be of service in this way, to this extent, to be at ease within that role, but more so, not to come with a whole list of wants and needs, but to be fulfilled in the role that he is fulfilling.  That the submissive needs, the needs to serve are met through those chores and tasks.  

As I mentioned earlier, people like this, are a very very rare, but special find. Someone else in that thread also says

" think "most" people advertising to be a maid have ulterior motives and that they want a bit of spanking or sex at the end of the cleaning etc....There are very few, like myself who genuinely just wish to clean and make someone elses' life better"

And that is it . . .that hits it right on the head.  The desire to make someone elses' life better.  As it says in the quote above

"the goal and satisfaction for me come in seeing that she is feeling relaxed and pampered. There is no expectation or hope that I'll get anything beyond a pat on the head and a thank you as I leave. It feels especially good if she has examined my work and not found any real issues with it."

It is about not having expectations, of not coming with a tick list of wants and needs that need to be fulfilled as so many seem to think that is the point of submitting, that is what submitting is all about.

For some, it is about that tick list. And for them, that is fine.  This is all about after all, what it is for each of us.

For others, it is far far beyond that.

For me it most certainly is.

But, it was refreshing to see that someone serves in this way and gets their fulfillment from serving, from pleasing.  Not because they have a whole host of expectations to be fulfilled to get that satisfaction. It does go to show, that there are some people out there who share that wavelength, that thought.

If only we could all be as lucky to find this . . . .


  1. I suppose you would also love to find a gentleman who is complelely fufilled by giving women expensive gifts. Wouldn't that be great? All your housework taken care of and expensive gifts to boot! You don't have to do a damn thing. Funny how there aren't a lot of male doms clamoring for nsa housework, this is almost exclusively a female dominant desire. Don't kid yourself he still talks about his fetishes, about dressing in heels stockings and getting spanked. Sure he may not do it all the time, but do you really think he would clean if there was no kink what so ever? Find one guy who cleans just like a paid housekeeper but for free, no kink just cleaning every time and then I might buy into the whole " only doing it for the satisfaction" mentality. You will be hard pressed to find one guy. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to do housework tho. Hell, be proud of it yell out "I'm a lazy Dom! And I don't want to clean or give anything in return!" be true to your feelings, don't hide behind some subs should be satisfied just by seeing me be lazy bs. Doing something nice just to make someone happy is amazing, and should be done whenever you can but a relationship just based on cleaning up for someone. Com'on now that's just naive

  2. For the record "anonymous"

    I am not lazy. I have NO issues about doing whatever I have do to. Neither am I hiding behind any BS because I am lazy. I am not. I do it all now, I have no problems in doing it all, I have done for many years. I don't seek or want someone to do everything, I have no intentions of anything being that way, and give nothing in return? I give a huge amount to the person I am with. But you make judgements without knowing.

    I do not want or seek expensive gifts, again you make judgements about someone you know NOTHING about.

    I am quite aware that someone will always have needs whatever they are, those needs to be fulfilled. I am not naive. What I was saying, was that it was a refreshing change for someone to openly admit what they get fulfilment from and from it being something so basic.

    I have no issues with people who do have kinks, fetishes or anything else. We all have needs, we all have wants, and no-where in my post do I say, or have I ever said, that I want someone just to do my cleaning!!

    FFS I'm more than capable of doing it all.

    That wasn't the point of my blog, but then, it appears that you've not got that, but made quick judgements about someone you know nothing about.

  3. It's interesting how much this ties in with a person's need for actual 'job satisfaction', because deep down we all want some thanks, recognition or reward for our efforts.

    Mind you, I quickly learned that cleaning the kitchen is the fastest way to get my girlfriend to jump on me. So it's no surprise that our kitchen is always spotless!

  4. The fascination is that someone could be just around the corner...sillymaid

  5. Respectfully Kat.

    I found you via IC.

    Re: Anonymous 3 August 2012 21:16.

    I think the Anonymous post is way out of order, and obviously has no clue about how a domestic person feels.

    But they are entitled to there opinion whatever that is, however small minded they are.

    Between 1996 & 2000 I used to write to prospective employers via “The Lady Magazine”, and other non scene adverts trying to obtain a domestic position for no wage, at one point even offering to pay my own keep.

    At this particular time I was living as a female & attending the GIC in Charring Cross London, however my diagnosis, being born both sexes, took me back to the path of living and working as a male.

    Now I have a non cohabiting female partner, I am semi retired at 50, living not far from yourself, and still long for the maid life.

    I have on occasions visited a very kind lady in Cornwall, and have experienced my domestic life, but I am unable to visit as frequently as I would like to, with distance being the primary objective.

    Females, males or people like me who’s sole desire is to be a domestic, or a person who enjoys making other people happy by either, domestic or academic work, or anything that helps another person, to make there life easier.

    Yes if one is in a domestic role, while the stresses of rat race life may not exist, perfection or the job in hand will forever remain, and the smile from the person who is please with ones work remains in my mind, this is enough for me to be happy.

    Wants we all have them, and I have a few, but wants become privileges once in service to a genuine lady.


  6. To make someone feel pampered while also feeling relaxed and satisfied yourself,maybe through physical exertion, it relates to the sexual bond, somewhat.

  7. So many really do miss the point! By serving in this way a submissive is getting what he wants and needs from the relationship, assuming he is genuinely submissive and not just out for kinky fun for his own pleasure. True submissives take enormous pleasure from "doing", that is the grounds upon which any true FLR is built upon.

    As for the anonymous first comment, he makes far too many assumptions, and is way off the mark, but no doubt he is merely a fantasist who had his fingers burned by a "princess" in CM or a similar site!