29 September 2011

A walk in the park

It is late. 

We left the party a short time ago, much later than planned. But we had been enjoying ourselves.  I had been teasing you relentlessly all evening.  The occasional whisper in your ear of what I was going to do to you when we finally made it home.

I could see the tricks your mind was playing on you. 

The fear of the unknown.

The arousal that this fear and these thoughts brought to your body; to your cock.  There was no hiding it.  And I would smile at your arousal, you would blush at the humiliation.

The streets are quiet and we walk home together, the only sound being our breathing, and footsteps upon the pavement, the heels of my boots, the sound of your shoes.  And even though it is the very late hours of the night, we take a short cut through the park.

"Come on, we will be fine. I will look after you" I say mockingly when he protests that it isn't safe to be walking through the park at this time of the night. 

"Isn't it I, who should be taking care of you?" he asks in return. 

I simply smile at him.

"Nothing is going to happen to me while I walk through the park.  However . . .who knows what will happen to you?" I laugh dismissively at him. Walking on ahead of him, as his mind plays scene after scene of all the things that could happen in the next 10 minutes from the tiniest of seeds I have just planted within his mind.

I want to hurt him. 

The beast has been prowling all night, it is desperate for escape.  I want to tease him, hurt him, mark him.  I want to hear him pleading and begging for me to stop as I scratch, twist, slap him.  Which makes me only want to hurt him all the more, just as his hesitancy right now makes me want to hurt him and I have to stop myself from doing so right there. 

I leave him standing there as I walk on ahead of him, my feet are now aching and tired.  I am needing a drink and am feeling aroused at being out in the open air.  There is something about being out in the open, the feel of the air against skin, the danger of being seen and found.  My mind drifts to thoughts of the last time we were in this park. Walking through I had sat on the bench, him kneeling between my legs, his face buried between my thighs as he brought me to an orgasm with his tonguue.  I had then made him walk the rest of the way home with my juices all over his face.  He hadn't been able to look up at anyone all of the way home for fear that someone would know what he had just done.

I smile at the memory of his humiliation.  My body reacting to the memory of the wonderful orgasm that he had brought me.  

"Will you hurry up!" I say to him, as he increases the pace of his walk to catch up. 

He seems on edge. Nervous somehow.  He looks around, not really being able to see anything in the darkness of the unlit park, but looking around anyway as if someone is going to jump out at us at any time. 

A short distance later, in the middle of the dark park, I sit down on the same bench we had before. I tell him that my feet are aching, that I need to remove my boots and that I will walk the rest of the way bare foot.  

He stands before me, and just as he leans down to unzip my boots the back of my hand comes swiftly across his face, knocking him off balance and onto the ground. 

He is stunned, shocked by the force of the slap, the few drinks he had earlier at the party rushing straight to his brain, his eyes have glazed over as I know that it hit his submissive psyche with the same force of contact that it made on his skin. 

Before he has time to recover, before he has any time to realise that we aren’t alone, that someone is behind him, grunting as they grab him by the hips and flip him over onto his stomach. He is still dazed from the slap across his face but realisation is starting to hit and he begins to lash out, trying to push this unknown person away.

He is struggling now.  Kicking. Lashing out. Trying to push him away.  He is shouting. Swearing.

A hand forces its way into his hair, pushing his face down hard into the dirt. 

He is beginning to plead now, begging to be let go, but instead he is forced further forward, a mouth full of dirt, he coughs and splutters up the bits of soil that found its way into his mouth.  

From his head, the hand slides down his back, pushing him down harder, pinning him between his shoulder blades. The other hand groping and finding their way in the dark to the top of his trousers.   

"Oh god. Please. No! Please stop!"  he begs. 

Hearing his begging; hearing his pleas goes straight to my cunt. 

But the stranger does not stop.

Instead he pulls them down harder, yanking the trousers down over his naked ass, catching them on his cock, which despite the pleas and the begging to stop is obviously aroused at the force in which he is being taken at that moment.

As the trousers reach his knees, he stops.  You are exposed.

“Please NO! No. No. . no . . .no . . . no . . .n . . . “ 

You realise you are fighting a battle that you can only lose.  You hear the stranger unzip his trousers and feel the hardness of his cock against your naked, exposed ass.  You are crying now. Slow tears beginning to fall into body wrenching sobs.

“Please don’t hurt us” 

You are pleading. 

You have no idea that I am still sat on the bench watching you.  Watching him hurting you.  I make no noise. No sound. No movement. 

Instead you begin to scream as you feel the head of his cock at the entrance to your ass.  And you scream louder still as you feel him force himself inside you.  He grunts and moans with each thrust, groping at your body, scratching you, hurting you. All of the things that I have been wanting to do to you all evening.

Your screams have turned into moans and groans. 

Moans and groans which turn into a state of arousal despite that you are there in the park, on your hands and knees being fucked in the ass by an unknown stranger. Your own cock is hard and protruding from your body.  Just as you begin to find your voice again, pleading with him to stop, he forces you down further into the ground.

He is fucking you.

Slapping you.

Hurting you.

With each thrust his grunts get louder, deeper, throatier.  You feel his body begin to spasm as you feel him come deep inside of you. 

“Noooooo . . .” you cry out “Please help  me, I am begging you to help me”

You are laid there, semi naked.

Your trousers still around your knees.  You are scared to move, scared of what may come next. Your body quivering.  You feel him move away from you as he pulls his cock from out of you.   And what seems like an eternity but is only a matter of seconds, you turn to look for me. Your mind trying to make sense of the invasion of your body. 

The stranger on the other hand, is stood in front of me. Where you had been only a short time before as you had bent to remove my boots.

I look at him.

Leaning into him as he embraces me.  My mouth making contact with his as I devour his mouth with my own.  His hands gripping my breast through the blouse I am wearing.

“I love you” he says.

I smile at him.

I look down where you are still exposed on the floor.

And then I smile at you.

16 September 2011

Breathless and wanting

The club is busy. 

But then it is a friday night, and it is one of the reasons why I decided to bring you here on this particular time. You are unsure. Hesitant of what lies before you.  But the fears that you have create a desire within your mind. A desire which your body clearly shows.

"We'll have a great time" I had told you, not really trying to reassure you, but just making a statement as we had walked in several hours before. 

And now I'm sat there wondering where you have wandered off to, although not overly bothered that you have left me alone.  I am comfortable in my own company.  I am comfortable in the company of people who I do not know.  I do not feel a need to talk if I don't want to.  I don't feel that I have to.  I am content with people watching. 

And that is exactly what I had been doing since you had gone for your roam around.  I enjoy this time out and I know that you cannot do anything while you are securely locked in the confines of your chastity device. And the little fluffy white towel that I have allowed you to wear over it, for now at least, covering that, keeping at bay the humiliation you would feel if someone were to discover what lay beneath.

I privately had hoped that someone would discover it, from touching you without your permission and wondered how you would react.

I smiled at that thought as I lower myself into the water. 

The bubbles from the jacuzzi relaxing me to a point where I'm quite happy if you don't rush back anytime soon.

After all, you've just brought me to an intense and wonderful orgasm with your tongue while I ignored your administrations while sucking another man's cock.  Your arousal limited by the constraints of the device, I had heard you groan more than once with the frustration but also the discomfort of your own arousal, something which only heighted my own.

The wonderful liberating feelings of doing what you want, when you want and with who you want. Even if those "who" aren't known.  No care in the world.  No worries as to what anyone else may think or feel.  And how such kinky, wild or even outrageous sex can be so self-actualising.  That it can cause you to lose all traces of self-consciousness.  That you can lose who you are in that moment, but can be who you are. Be who you want to be.  No worries. No judgement.  And that at the heart of every wild sexual thing that you may do, is that you can be yourself.  That you can lose your ego.  That you lose any self-consciousness and can be who we are. Freely and unobstructed.

I sink lower into the water feeling the warm bubbles against my naked skin, I sigh as I lean my head back, closing my eyes for a short while.

I am lost in my relaxation.

Not oblivious to the others that share the jacuzzi with me.  Not totally oblivious to the girl next to me giving the man she is with a blow job in the water.  Her head bobbing up and down, coming up for air every so often, or his hands on top of her head forcing her down under the jets of water to take him into her mouth and throat more deeply, with her forcing her face to the surface gasping for air.  A look of fear on her face each time he holds her down harder and for longer.  The look of fear, the way he forces her makes my own body stir.

I am not totally oblivious to her hand that is gently moving up and down my leg while she sucks him and neither am I oblivious to his hands playing with my now erect nipples as he twists them, pulls them and flicks them.  I keep my eyes closed for extended periods of time, allowing my body to sink into the feelings that my own body brings as it reacts to the administrations of this unknown couple. 

Unashamedly, I do nothing to stop either of them.  Instead, I relax into the feelings, sighing deeply as her fingers reach into the depths of my arousal.  Her fingers are long and slender, but do not take long to find how to bring me to a gentle orgasm. 

The jacuzzi comfortably holds 15, maybe even 20, but there are 8 or 10 of us in there at the most.  The girl and myself; the only females.

My eyes wander to the rather interesting scene playing out before me.  A grey haired man, probably in his late 40's maybe early 50's but certainly well toned for his age stands up, tentatively stepping over the entangled legs and feet that are in his way as he makes his way to stand behind the other girl.  

My eyes quickly glance over his face, his body.  My eyes meeting his own as we exchange glances and smiles.  His cock is erect, hard, and I can clearly see the veins running through it.  I find myself drawn to him, something about the way that he moves without word.  Purposefully. His cock certainly looks good enough to suck, I can certainly imagine taking him deep into my mouth.

But as those thoughts go through my head and in turn through the rest of my body I decide that it is something for later, certainly when my "wandering friend" has returned.  After all, it isn't something that I would want him to miss out on. 

I watch as the older man stands behind the girl lowering himself slowly as his cock enters into her with force as she is taken completely by surprise by this intrusion into her body. She comes up quickly from the cock she is sucking. Her fingers working furiously inside of me.  She gasps, groans and moans.  I do the same and move to allow her easier access to the depths of me as she furiously moves her fingers in and out of me, rubbing against my clit that is stood to attention at the wonderful feelings that her fingers bring to me.

The guy she is with, looks up as he watches this unknown man pumping hard into his partners cunt.  She is struggling for balance until the older guy grabs her shoulders to steady her.

"Fuck her hard man" the guy next to me says, "Fuck her and use her however you want to.  Fuck her like the dirty slut that she is".

The man certainly does so, forcing his cock in and out of her, pushing her down into the water, she tries to maintain her sucking of her own guy's cock.

His words resonate in my head.

I look at him.

His voice brings shivers to me. I do not know if they are good or bad.  But there is something about his voice, the way he talks, the way he grants a complete stranger permission to use his partner in this way.  I recognise the voice from earlier and I continue to watch him as he turns to face me.

I am struggling to place him, struggling for recognition, yet I know that he isn't completely unknown to me.  And then he turns to me and whispers "It's my turn to play with you now, except this time I get to see your face". 

And I smile.  And I blush as I smile.

As it all falls into place.

I know that he was the same man that had stood behind me, playing with my body when I had forced my partner against the wall while I devoured his mouth with my own. 

We had been locked in a moment of breathless kissing, my teeth biting his lips, my tongue forcing its way deep into his mouth as I forced his head against the wall.  He on the other hand had touched me from behind.  His hands had forced their way between my legs, around my body, twisting and pinching my nipples so hard they hurt, playing with me all the time that I was locked in a kiss.  He had brought me to a fast and furious orgasm, I felt my own juices running down my thighs as he whispered thank you into my ear before he had walked away. 

I hadn't seen his face.

He hadn't seen mine.

And when I had turned to see who it was, it was impossible to know from the small group of people that had stood and witnessed my orgasm stolen by a complete stranger which one he was.  I scanned the room for any clue.

Except there wasn't one.  I didn't even know who this person was who had stolen such a wonderful orgasm from my body. 

But now, several hours later, I knew exactly who it was.

He pulled his girl towards him, the man still pumping into her. He kissed her deeply before turning away from her handing her over to this rather sexually adept guy and kissed me in exactly the same way.

I am left breathless.

Breathless and wanting. 

Breathless and wanting him.

Wanting him. Desiring him. Needing him.

He doesn't say anything as he looks at me. He simply grins. And I want to slap him and hurt him. But I want to kiss him, and hurt him and fuck him. And I want him to take me and use me and fuck me and to force another orgasm from me. 

Although this time, I want him to do it while I look into the depths of his eyes.  They draw me in. Our eye contact lasts as he moves towards me.

He remains silent.

And my body is doing things that it shouldn't be. And I am thankful that my own arousal is washed away with the warm waters of the jacuzzi and the bubbles that continue working their way around my body.

He leans against the back of the tub with one of his arms, and looks at me still grinning.  I am determined not to break his gaze.  I don't want to look down at the hard cock that I can feel against my leg.  I know it is there. I can feel it. I remember how it felt from earlier. 

In fact, I remember far too well.

His hands are on me now. 

One of them pushing the hair back from my face, the other deftly sliding over my body, between my legs, over my breasts, fingers pinching my nipples, twisting them, hurting them.  I groan deeply as he twists them harder.  One of my hands is pressing against his cock and I can tell that he likes it as I begin to tease him. 

He moves now. Sitting wide legged. He pulls me closer and without thought or hesitation I am on his lap.

And the water is bubbling furiously around us. And I don't know who guided his hardness into me, but I know it was me that kissed him furiously, biting and sucking his lips, drawing blood as I do so. And his hands grip my ass tightly as he pulls me down around him, I feel his pelvic bone hard against me as he forces me down further, pushing his cock deeper inside.  And the water and the bubbles splash around us.

And I'm breathless.

Breathless and wanting.

Breathless and wanting him. 

And his girl is watching us now. And the guy fucking his girl is watching us now.  And the other people in the jacuzzi are watching us now. 

And I am screaming into his mouth as I fuck him and I don't notice the people around us, the people stood watching us.  And I don't care that they are stood there watching us.  And I don't care that I am screaming into his mouth. And I don't care that he is fucking me and I am being brought to a most intense orgasm by a complete stranger when only mintues before, one was stolen from me by his girl.  And I don't care that I don't even know his name as he forces me down with such force onto his cock that I can feel him deep, deep within me.  And I don't care that he is pulling my hair as I devour his mouth with my own.

And I am remembering the orgasm he stole from me earlier. And his hands are around me. And I'm pushing down onto him, harder and faster and I cannot believe I am about to orgasm once again.

And I bury my face into his neck, biting and sucking hard into the pale skin and his fingers are sliding around my ass, finding their way between the cheeks. And oh god, he remembers from earlier just what happens when his fingers find their way into my ass.

And I am breathless.

Breathless and wanting.

Breathless and wanting as I fuck him. As he finger fucks my ass. One finger, then two and I am forcing myself down onto his cock to feel him, but at the same time forcing myself down onto his fingers that are now deep within me.  And my heart is racing fast, and my breathing is shallow, and my long nails dig into his skin, scratching him. Hurting him.  And I feel hands all over my body, not just his. But his girls.  And the hands of the man that was fucking his girl.

And there are hands and mouths on my neck and back. And there are hands on my breasts and on my body.  And his cock is still hard within me. And he is kissing me, kissing my neck, holding me, whispering things to me about what else he wants to do to me.  And I am riding him harder and faster.  And there are hands and mouths and bodies everywhere.

And I am lost to the waves of orgasm that course through my body.  As I look up from his neck to see the grey haired guy stood behind me.  And he whispers into my ear

"It's my turn now" as his cock forces his way into my ass.

And I remember how beautiful his cock had looked before he had taken the girl from behind. But now here I am, two cocks pumping in, tearing me apart, stretching my insides.  And the girl is sucking and playing with my nipples and I am fucking and being fucked.

And wave after waves of orgasm courses through my body and as they do so, I look up and see you have returned. 

And you are stood there looking at me, a look of surprise but deep arousal upon your face.  The towel tied around your naked body.  And I know that your cock is forcing against the constraints of the device. And I can make the outline out from behind the towel. 

And you are drinking in all that is playing out before your eyes.  Watching the guy I am sat upon, the guy who is fucking me deeply from behind, the girl who is sucking on my nipples where you had been only a short time ago. And the hands of the others playing with any vacant body part and skin that they can touch. 

And I can see your arousal.  And it arouses me even more.

And I am breathless.

Breathless and wanting.


As he fucks me harder. As she sucks me harder. And as I feel the cocks inside of me coming to the brink of yet another orgasm, my juices mingling with the bubbles of the jacuzzi.  My screams being lost amongst the voices of "fuck her harder", "fuck her deeper", "fuck her ass" and they are fucking me harder and deeper.  And as they steal another orgasm from the depths of my body, their own being given to me.

And we collapse into the water.  And we are breathless. Breathless and spent.  Our bodies all intermingled in the depths of the water.  The bubbles playing havoc with a highly aroused body. Hands gently stroking and touching as we recover from the activity of only moments before.

I turn and look at you stood there, your eyes taking in the scene that has just played out before you.  I smile at you. My eyes beckon you over to join us.  Except I know that you are hesitant in revealing the device which you wear.

I raise my eyebrows and you know that I am losing patience in waiting for you. But I can see the battle going on in your head. The humiliation of people seeing, but your desire to be there with me.

And with that, you remove the towel placing it onto a peg on the wall.  Your eyes lowered as you step gingerly into the water.  Your cheeks flushing with the embarrassment at showing yourself in this way.

"See it wasn't that bad was it?" I ask you as you lower yourself into the water.  I move slightly to the side to allow you to sit next to me.  "But see what you miss out on when you wander off" as I grin at him.  Hands still stroking my body, my own touching bodies but not knowing who it is touching.

I can sense your nervousness. Your arousal. Your longing.  And you are breathless and wanting.

"I really need to remove this device" you whisper into my ear.  "May I?"

"Maybe JoJo. Maybe."

14 September 2011

Wanting you

Oh, how I want you. All of you. Naked
I strip you, then cover you with my hands. My nails
tracing each line of your body, your muscles flexing beneath
a loving touch.  A breath taken in sharply as I move to kiss you,
getting closer as I steal your air, in turn you make me
breathless. My tongue flicking out against your own, tracing
the outline of your lips before my teeth take hold and bite
gently. I take your air, filling you with the anticipation, consuming
you from the very depths. The laboured breathing of a man
I have excited.  Heavy, dilated and out of control. Just like the beast
that lies within. That lies waiting, waiting to be set free. Waiting
for you to unleash it. Free it, free me. In turn we send ourselves
spiralling into a world of darkness, depravity and beauty.


13 September 2011

Crossed the line

It is August and the chance to have an extra week away, a break down to the coast, somewhere which we haven't been for many years.  Revisiting a place I've been so many times before, as a young child, as an adult, as a parent.  Taking the time at the end of the day, to watch the sun setting out over the sea, taking some photos and taking some time in thought after the chaos of a busy day. 

I am sat on the dunes watching the sun set over the waves that are crashing over the rocks and onto the shore where only a short time earlier, families had been spending the day in the last of the summer sun. 

The sky is painting such a beautiful picture, a myriad of colours amidst the clouds in the sky, the colours reflected in the breaking waves and surf as it crashes onto the beach.  It is a beautiful time to be there.  The quiet at the end of the day, there is an eery silence, no screaming children, no families playing on the beach, just the noise of the waves and the wind and an occasional person walking their dog, a couple walking hand in hand ankle deep in the chilly waters, a hardened surfer catching the last of the days surf.

I had sat in this same place many years before, except the feelings back then, were so different to the ones I was having now.

You had been sat next to me.

I don't even know why we had come away, only a few days before your betrayal had been uncovered.

The secrets and the lies.

And although this time I was able to sit with peace and quiet, memories of family holidays taken even years before you in this very place, that time with you I had sat with hurt, with anger, with all of the feelings that your betrayal was leaving in its wake.  Trust broken. A relationship destroyed. A heart aching for what had been.

Back then, the reality lay heavily upon us, there were no words or actions that would or could ever put it right. The only thing I had always said to you was that I needed your honesty, the only “rule” that had been there. That the moment that there was a lie, was the moment that really was it, even if it was the beginning of the end, just like it had been back then.

I don't know why we had come.

A bit like those people who go through with a wedding just because everything is paid for, even though you already know it is going to be a disaster.

That was the same with us.

We had come away because it was all paid for. You had visions of it being the trip that could “fix” what had happened. Except there was nothing that would ever be strong enough to fix what you had done. There never could be.

I don't know why I had agreed to come.

Even though the sunset ahead of me back then had been beautiful, just like the one I was watching now while remembering, the feelings that had engulfed me weren't.

I have always loved watching the sunset, nothing more perfect than watching it set over the sea, nothing to see for miles apart from the changing colours of the sky, reflecting in the moving waves.

The sunset ahead of me now, reminded of the one that we had watched in this very place many years before.

How things had changed since that time.

You had said we could use this time to talk. Except every time there was the opportunity, that every time I asked why, your eyes would fall in the direction of your feet, and the same answer of “I don't know” would be the only thing that would escape your lips before the tears escaped from your eyes.  You couldn't look me in the eye.  And I knew even when you said something, what was now the truth or not.

We had explored so much in the years that we had shared.

But, you knew there was a line.

It had been there from the very beginning and now you were finding out the consequences of what happens when you step over it. Except, I was finding out just how hard it was, of just how it felt, of just how hard it was to be letting go.

I was hurt. Betrayed. Heartbroken.

I had cried many tears during those early days, but the tears had turned to a pain and an anger that burned like a fire out of control. 

And during the time we had spent together away, while sat in this same place that I was only recently, back then you had thought that “make up sex” was enough to make it better.

We had always had such great sex.

You had been so eager to please, eager to learn how to please. You had spent many hours buried between my legs, your tongue buried deep inside of me. You had learned to delay your orgasm while you fucked me. Your cock filled me in a way no-one ever had, or has since. I loved the way you stretched me, filled me. I made you beg to go down on me after you had come inside of me, licking me clean. I will always remember the look of humiliation burning in your face and that made me want to force you all the more.

And here we were.

The coolness of the air mixing with the warmth of the setting sun. Your hand was trailing up and down my thigh. I could read you like a book, just like I always had done. I didn't acknowledge you, instead I continued to look out over the sea, watching the changing shapes of the clouds. Your fingers found their way between my legs and I hated right then just how my body always reacted to you, of how my cunt throbbed with the longing, of how my body betrayed itself from the wetness that was already finding its way over your fingers. It was as if you were trying everything to make the previous week disappear from happening. Except it had. It couldn't be ignored, it couldn't just be wiped away, however much I wish that it could have.

You brought me to an intense orgasm, my moans being lost in the sound of the waves still crashing down onto the shore. Except you weren't finished and I was lost to the intense feelings of arousal that you never failed to bring to me.  I didn't care about anything at that moment.  All of the feelings that we had shared, all of the things that we had done, flooded through me. 

And there on the sand dunes, you forced your fist deep into my cunt, in just the way I had taught you, and you fucked me hard with your fist, almost punching deep inside. I loved the way that your hand stretched me, filled me, hurt me. I lost count of the amount of times that you forced an orgasm from my body each time your fist punched inside.  I could feel my own juices gushing out over your hand, down over my thighs, dripping onto the sand beneath me.

Your other hand finding its way to my arse as you started to find your way in with your fingers filling me up even more. Oblivious to whoever may be close, whoever may have seen, you fucked my arse as hard as you fucked my cunt, and I was riding your fists lost to the wave of orgasms that took over my body. As I lay there totally spent, my body recovering from the intensity of the orgasms that had ripped through my body, I shivered from the dampness of my exposed skin as the breeze moved over me.

How could things have gone so wrong between us, when so many things were so right?

I had led there, closed my eyes and almost for a moment nothing was wrong, everything was perfect.

Except it wasn't.

Even when you buried your head between my legs, your tongue buried deep inside lapping up the juices that you'd already forced from my body. You had begged to fuck me, but my body couldn't take much more. My insides were feeling sore from the hard fisting that you had given me, but even those feelings couldn't take away the pain that my heart was feeling.

But you stayed there, your tongue gently teasing me, tempting me, drawing my clitoris back out where you sucked on it, gently biting it, and soon the feelings within my body of longing returned. While you sucked, while your tongue found its way deep inside me, your fingers spread the cheeks of my arse where you tongue found its way, deep into its depths. You knew how much I loved your tongue there, and as it darted in and out of the depths of my arse I heard you moan and groan as you tasted me.

I felt the hardness of your cock against my leg, and I wanted you, buried deep inside me, stretching me. I wanted to be totally fucked, my body left stretched and filled; filled with you. Knowing that really it would be the last time that it would be.

"Fuck me."

And you had not needed to be asked twice, you positioned yourself behind me, knowing that I loved to be in this position so I could feel you deep inside me.

And you did.

You fucked me long and hard, pushing me down into the sand, all of the hurt and the anger that had been buried within coming out as I screamed at you to fuck me harder. I wanted it to be pushed out, to be forced out, and I had always loved your cock inside me, loved to feel you inside me, I loved to feel you cum deep inside me. And my orgasms were building and washing over me, and you were asking to cum, and I wasn't ready for you to yet.

"Fuck me harder dammit."

And you did, pulling my hair, fucking me deep, pulling on my shoulders so you could get your cock deep inside as hard and as far as you could.  And I was hurting from where your fists had filled me only moments before, and it felt as if all of my insides were being forced out of me, taking the pain and the hurt that you had caused.  But it wasn't enough. It still wasn't enough.  I wanted more. I wanted that hurt of the heart pushed away. And although I knew it would hurt, I wanted you deep within me.

"Fuck my arse now."

I saw the hesitation in your eyes.

"Goddamit, do it now will you?!" I had shouted at you, leaving you with no doubt of what I wanted.

And you withdrew from my red and sore cunt and forced the length of your cock straight into me, I screamed with the force that you took me, the orgasm ripping through my body as you continued to fuck me, to stretch me.

I had been the only person who had been able to take your size in my arse, and you had learned over time to control your orgasm for as long as I had wanted. It had brought tears to my eyes on many occasions as we had learned together how to get you to fuck me, to stretch me. You learning how to do it, my body learning how to take such an intrusion, which often screamed out with the pain that seared through my body.

And you begged me, begged to be allowed to come.

"No. Just stop."

My body couldn't take any more.

I was sore and hurting, stretched and my whole body ached from the abuse I had ordered you to inflict upon me. My cunt was stretched wide, my arse was sore, throbbing with the fisting and fucking. But I needed this. I wanted this one last memory of how it felt, knowing that there would not be another time.

The confusion in your eyes, the glazed look in your eyes I knew you were desperate to come. Your arousal was clear for all to see, as your hard cock which was wet with my juices protruded out from your body.

I looked at you, put my hands between my legs as I brought myself to an orgasm, my juices over my hand I wiped it across your face, mixing with the juices that were already there and the sand which had already stuck to you. Your mouth automatically opened to taste my fingers, to lick them clean, just as you'd always done.

You were led there confused. I stood then, my whole body shaking from the wave after wave of orgasm that had coursed through me.

I stood to the side of you, relieving myself into the sand, the breeze blowing the warm liquid over your face, over your hair, all over you.  And as I dressed I turned to you and said “You want to come. Then bring yourself to an orgasm”

“You want to do things on your own. Do this on your own. You won't ever do so with me again”

And with that, I left you there.

Walking away, not looking back.

I couldn't bear to stay even though such a big part of me wanted to. I didn't want to hear your empty apologies. I didn't want to hear you begging and pleading saying that things could be ok. I didn't want to see the tears that fell from your eyes.  I didn't want to hear your empty words when you said that things could be ok.

They couldn't.

They never could.

You had crossed the line. There was no going back.

Changes . . .

The foliage has been losing its freshness through the month of August, and here and there a yellow leaf shows itself like the first gray hair amidst the locks of a beauty who has seen one season too many. ”

~Oliver Wendell Holmes

One season too many. 

That is how it feels right now.  That there has been, just one season too many. 

I feel tired. 

I hate the changing of the seasons at this time of year.  But this changing season is bringing about some unexpected situations. Ones which are involving lots of difficult choices and decisions to be made.  Ones which could potentially bring hurt and heartache.  Life is often not easy. This is one of those times. 

But summer has most definitely gone (what we had of it).  The tree outside my office window which only a few months ago was late gaining its spring leaves, is fast losing the foliage to the gusting winds as autumn takes its hold. 

It's one of those seasons that you can smell.  It sneaks upon us during the end of the summer days, bringing the smell of dampness within the leaves, and a crispness to the day, but sometimes we are still blessed with the last bits of summer with a day which can still be warm and sunny.

But the nights draw in, the morning light taking longer to creep into the start of the day and it makes everything seem so much harder work.  The children are back into the new school year, making the changing season in the year ever more felt.

But, we know that as this season takes a grip, that we will smell it more keenly, that the shortening of the days, the lengthening of the dark autumn nights will lead to the cooling of the air as winter approaches.  The anticipation of frosty mornings with the perfect blue sky and the winter sun.

Instead, we have winds blowing, making the old windows rattle in their frames. The rain falling against the glass, leaves blowing down the street.

Seasons are changing.  Autumn is certainly here. 

12 September 2011

I say goodbye

You were my best friend,
For the first time,
I was completely loved,
I still am.

I saw your heart, Simple & kind,
And I loved you,
Like no other,
I still do.

I thought we were forever,
You and I,
I believed in it again.

I cry for you and I cry for me,
Wishing it was so simple,
As we dreamed it would be.

We now realize,
All of our buried fears.
Heart-breaking disappointment,
Swallows us up in it's tears.
It's too late to look back.

My best friend,
Completely loved.
I say Goodbye,
Still loving you.

07 September 2011

Time flies . .

And I don't know where to at times.

Days seem to roll into weeks, weeks into months all too quickly.  And before you know it, the end of another year is already in sight, the changing of another season, the start of another school year.  The approaching of another birthday of both myself and mini man, is another reminder of just how quickly life can pass.

The holiday of last week already seems like a distant memory, (don't you just hate it when that happens!) but we have come back to the full onslaught of mini man's new school year, the start of his sporting season, getting back to work.  The whole daily routine of the "daily grind" but I have come back this time with a head full of thoughts, of ideas, of things I want to do, to change, to happen.

The trip away was lovely though. 

Blessed by good weather, time spent with mini man and the dogs, walking along the beach early in the morning, late in the evening. Watching the sun rise over the sand dunes, watching it set over the sea. A chance to take some wonderful pics (and I do love my sunset pics!) and a chance to relax, to write, to unwind, to think and to reflect.

I don't know about anyone else, but the passing of the time, at the speed it passes makes me stop and think.  Think about things (and people) from the past, from the present and thoughts for the future. 

Many different things have happened recently which have made me stop and think even more.  They have made me look upon my own situation, of where I am in life and to see the things that I want to change, need to change, as well as the things that I hope or want, or need to be different.

Thoughts about things that have been, things happening now, things and thoughts for the future.  Not all of the thoughts have been good.  Not all of the thoughts have been about positive things.  Some of them have been tinged with sadness, touched by the "what if's"; thought about but let go. But thought about just the same.

The holiday of last week, a time of relaxing and just taking a break certainly gave us that break, we had fun, the dogs enjoyed it too (their first trip to the beach!) but it opened up the door to me for lots of time to sit, to think, to reflect ~ something that is often a rare commodity for me.  But as such, it has left me in a place of so many things to consider about the future. Some pretty big changes or what would be changes if I decide to go down certain paths.  It is now being able to be sure that the decisions I will make will be the right ones. Right for now, for the future and in all of the right ways. 

But serious decisions, need serious thought.  This is not a time for impulsive reactions. Not a time to make snap decisions about things which would be pretty life changing.

The break of the holiday did give me some chance to write, to ease the "bloggers block" that has been with me over recent weeks.  I even have some blog entries to add along with some of the pictures that I took while away.  I also took the time to write by hand, something I haven't done for a long while, but something which gives an opportunity for much deeper reflection.

Reflecting is good, thinking is good.  But I now have so many things to think about, and that can be hard.  It makes it hard to have a clear head to make the decision, to make sure it is the right decision.  I know that when I make them, it will be for the right reasons, only time can tell of course whether those decisions will ultimately be right.

I certainly have very clear ideas about some things certainly, others however are less clear.  But time brings clarity. I know I will have that soon!

God, I need a holiday!