24 October 2014


I think kissing is the most pure and raw form of physical contact there could ever be. Sex is intimate, sure, but you can have sex with anyone. A kiss though, my god. A kiss can change your world. A small touch between two pairs of lips can blow your mind. Whether it be short and sweet, or long and intense. And when you find someone that looks at you like you’re more beautiful than a blossoming rose; you never want to feel another’s lips against yours ever again.

— The Purity of a Kiss - (jpzg)

Kissing. The thing that I love. The thing that I miss. My "thing".

A mouth that craves the taste of skin, a tongue that desires to trail its wetness over the plains of a body. Lips that ache to kiss, stealing breath, taking you within an inch of your life. A clash of lips, meeting with a craving and a longing so deep it leaves them breathless.  Lips moving with slow and gentle precision, each kiss telling a momentum of passion, of depth, of love.



You write your first draft with your heart and you rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is to write, not to think.

Sean Connery, Finding Forrester.

For me, the key is having the time. The motivation. The inspiration.  And I haven't had any of those for so long.  It's been so long since I've written. So long since I've had the time to write.  Life is busy. Life is manically busy and there's no time to write let alone think!

On Wednesday, I stood in the Abbey at the funeral of a friend who was just 49.  A battle lost against bowel cancer.  And standing there as I watched her two teenage daughters talk of their Mum, it hits home just how precious life is.  How so easily life can be taken away, that it is so short.  She was making the most of her life, doing the things that she loved to do, right up to the end, right to the moment that the damn awful disease that cancer is stripped her body of life.

It makes you realise that sometimes, just sometimes, things have to take a back seat, that there are things that must come first.  Whether things are from the head or the heart, the first key is to take the moments that we have, to take the opportunities, the chances, the risks.  Because it can be over all too quickly.

There can be times, there can be moments when something so beautiful comes into our lives, completely out of nowhere.  We may not understand it, we may want to question it, but sometimes we have to trust in it. Trust in ourselves, trust in the ability to make and take the right decision, the right path for ourselves.  It may not work. But sometimes, perhaps we just need to have a little faith.  Perhaps we just need to take a step into the unknown, for as I've been reminded this week, we never know if that step may be our last.

Sian. Rest in peace and free from pain.

01 May 2014


Gripping him. Drawing her closer. Never letting him go.  Their mouths consume each other as they share the same air. Her pulling him closer, holding him tightly. Him enveloping her as if his life depended on it. 

They both dine on their hunger and salacious desires. Feeding upon their gluttony of their yearning and ending the famine that had starved them for so long. A biting of lips, a tangle of tongues, a scraping of teeth as the taste of each other is embedded within each of them.Satisfying their lustful craving as greedily they feast upon each other.

30 April 2014


I want to write. I need to write.  I've not done a great deal of it of late. I've gotten a few words down recently, but it's not how I want the words to flow, to be released, to be.

And it is frustrating.

I want the words to come, floating like the blossom that is falling from the trees. And they don't.

And I think of you. And how you left on the same breeze, fading into the distance, like the blossom blown away and never to return.  Now I know why they name hurricanes. They leave their mark, their name. Their force and strength.

I wonder what we would have named you.


29 April 2014

Level 3? WTF?!


I receive an email from someone commenting on what "level" of FLR I follow.  I mean, what is that all about?  WTF?

My relationships are female led. End of. They don't go to any particular level they just are.  I was curious to how he was suggesting I was a level 3 and then realised that he'd probably read some "guide" or some online blurb about how we fit into neat little tick boxes and fit into certain levels with these things that we do.

And yes. I was right.

He sent me a link to "What is FLR" and there, it attempts to "define" what constitutes an FLR! Why are people so hellbent on trying to "define" the things that we do, trying to label, trying to fit everyone into little tick boxes of how we are or must be to be Dominant, or submissive and that if we don't do X, Y or Z we aren't either.  Why?

This article does say they created these four levels for discussion, but people, especially those who are new, exploring and trying to discover, take these things so literally.  But what pisses me off, is that people then take this "stuff" they read and insist it is how it is.

He couldn't get past the thought that because I don't do something, I couldn't be a level 4, that my FLR couldn't be "defined" as a level 4.

What absolutely fucking bullshit!!!!

Now, this somewhat pisses me off.  Actually, no, it seriously pisses me off!

I don't work to levels. I don't work to what someone may happen to say my FLRs reflect.  Who is anyone to say what "level" I lead my relationships? Who is anyone to say whether my relationships are female led or not?  Whether something is right or wrong?

There are things I explore. I do so because it is MY choice to do so.  Just because I don't do something doesn't then mean that my relationship isn't female led. 

If it is right for me. If it works for me. It is. 


Why do people insist on writing these things? Why do people insist on leading people to these things? It brings those who find this stuff online into a place which for the main is just bullshit and they get drawn into thinking that because they've read it somewhere that this is how it is.  People do not fit into levels or tick boxes.  They do not fit neatly into what labels get thrown out there.


My relationships are female led. No level. No debate. They are. That's it.  

End of.