07 August 2012

Burning bridges

"My girlfriend doesn't understand me".

How many times do you hear it? I hear it so much it drives me round the twist.  I understand that there are many people in relationships where their "other half" doesn't understand them or their needs.  It may be that I do understand the needs that they may have.  But, I'm not the gf!

"I don't get what I need from my relationship".

How many times do you hear it?

Probably as much as I do.  And yes, I understand there are a whole lot of people who don't get what they need from their relationship ~ I didn't from mine so it is in the past.  Everyone has the ability to change this.

But what is so frigging annoying are those who complain and moan about how their relationship isn't right, that it doesn't meet their needs, that they aren't able to be what they are or what they need to be.  But do absolutely nothing to change it.  It goes on for years and years without ever changing.  But I don't know what they expect me to do . . .

I can't change it.

Only YOU can.

You are the one in that relationship. You have the ability to change it.  You have the ability to be able to be who you are, what you are, but in a relationship that is right for you.

No-one can make those changes for you.

But, while you are in that relationship, nothing, will ever go beyond a friendly chat, I will be an understanding friend.  Nothing more.

It's not my style. It's not my scene. It's not my thing.

But on the same subject, don't think that you can "pick up" and "put down" when it suits you, don't think that you can "come and go" as you wish, when you wish.  Don't think that you can pick up when it suits, put down while a temporary "alternative" comes along and think that it will be ok when you come to "pick up" once more.

It maybe "ok" in your book.

It isn't in mine.

You may think that it is a good way to treat someone.

I don't.

Bridges burn . . .don't try crossing it again!


  1. The male sub tendency to treat dommes as human sex toys. Shameful.

  2. Some people get scared of hearing the truth. Of knowing that what you say is right. Scared of the things that they may feel or find themselves wanting and run in the other direction until those feelings have disappeared.

    It does not make it right of course. In fact it is rather rude. As Giles has said, it is shameful.

    Some people cannot handle the truth.

  3. For a while I was on the same category, but after putting a lot of work, I am now getting more and more of what I want out of my relationship and my wife is too.

    I love her too much to try to get my "other needs" satisfied somewhere else and I'm infinitely grateful that she listened and understood with an open and generous mindset.