Or am I actually more disappointed that it has passed without comment, as if it (I, *we*) holds no meaning?
Or, is that actually a reflection?
Does it, does this, hold meaning? Importance?
There was no mention that it wouldn't be there, no word, no anything. Not even an excuse, not even an "I can't". And that is disappointing.
Is it because it shows a lack of care, a lack of interest? Is it because it's just a game? Does it actually show all of those things?
Was it forgotten?
If so, that doesn't help in the slightest.
Being forgotten is like a kick to the stomach - it's worse than something not actually being done.
It whispers an "it's not important", it speaks a "you don't matter", It utters an "I don't care". It shouts an "I'm not interested" or "what you want holds no importance" . . .or is it screaming a "fuck you!" all without a single word being uttered?
It was done to learn, to explore, to connect . . . at least from my side it was, trying to help the disconnect, as well as delving, trying to show from my side that I do care, that I am interested, that I want to learn so very much and that I will take steps to try to work with the distance and the situation we are in.
It's not so much of an empty inbox, it's more because it wasn't worthy of time, of thought or that it wasn't even worth a respectful "it won't be there".
I can't help feeling a little kick in the stomach, a little slap in the face . . .a little disappointed.
