Passing the keys . . .

Chastity, something that I've always been drawn to. 

I've blogged about it quite often, including THIS entry where I wrote about what's in it for the lady. 

That blog post talks at length about what it is I love, what I get out of keeping someone locked and denied, and let's face it, I get a WHOLE lot out of it.  And yet, right now, I'm getting other things from it that are quite new, quite different.

It is something that has played a part in the past in varying degrees.  But there have always been similar aspects of it that have run through the "act", familiar thoughts, familiar feelings.  I know how it feeds my "beast", I know how it feeds my desire and need for control.  And really, there hasn't really been anything that has felt quite different for me. 

Until now. 

There are a whole host of things which are contrasting for and with me right now.  And this is different too.  I had lots of time to reflect on this as I drove home today, thoughts going to what is different, why it feels different.

And I LOVE the fact that it is.

I LOVE the fact that there are things that are new and fresh and it's like seeing things which I've always enjoyed, always loved or felt drawn to through different eyes, with different thoughts and feelings.

And yes, the feelings are important - chastity, is still very much, as indeed everything is for me, emotionally driven. 

I have no desire to deny someone if it is emotionally lacking. 

It is this with everything, without that emotion, without those feelings, everything is just empty, I don't want empty, I want those feelings that emotionally drive.  I want things filled with a depth of feeling, that overwhelming sense of emotion that drives so much of the things that we may do. 

The things that I do. 

And while it may be quite soon, today, I have the keys . . . and sometimes . . .just sometimes for however much I may think, or reflect or write, sometimes the right words, just cannot be found. 

But, regardless of how soon, regardless of how early, there is still emotions driving right now.  I haven't quite processed all of the thoughts and feelings that I may have about it all right now . . .but there are emotions driving.

And, they, the keys . . . are here with me.  :-D

While he is locked up (first pic) I have the keys on a necklace around my neck (second pic).

It isn't a small thing.

Someone choosing to give up this part of them to ultimately be controlled by another.  I am not indifferent to just how hard it is to be denied, to give that up.  I am quite aware that it's not an easy thing but I am quite aware of how it also makes me feel.

It's a big step. 

Both for him as he gives that up and indeed for me in terms of having control of that.  It's a big step, but a rather delicious and wonderful one and while I haven't quite processed the new feelings I have, he may have the device to remind him, something serving as a physical reminder if we are not together (along with the lack of physical release of course), but I have something physical to remind me too. 

And that . . .that is rather quite fabulous!


*originally written Thursday March 23rd*

No idea

You had no idea as we had dressed for the evening formal dinner that this was how the evening would end.  In the days of planning, neither had I. But with everything in place, I knew exactly how the evening would pan out. I knew that we would stay for dinner, we'd have champagne and dance a little.  But I also knew that at the end of the night we wouldn't return home alone.  And I knew that what was going to be a pleasure for me, would torment you.  That what would build me, would break you.

You had no idea until you had seen us flirting over the dinner table, a dark haired, younger very handsome man with the most kissable lips. You could tell from the way I looked at them, that I wanted to devour them, to devour him.  You could tell from the way I looked at him and the way he looked at me, that there was a current of electricity, shocks passing across the table which everyone else was oblivious too.

You had no idea where we had gone when I had excused myself from the table to "powder my nose" and you had no idea where he had gone when he had left a short time after.  The bewildered look on your face when we returned together, flushed faces, and a smile on my face.  As I sat down beside you and guided your hand between my legs, you knew.  You knew what had just happened and as I placed my hand on your device I could feel your cock begin to stiffen and I knew that you knew.

You had no idea that he would be coming home with me. With us.  And you had no idea that you would be sat across the room, the same room, while I straddled him, kissed him and lowered myself slowly onto his hardened cock.  And as I took control over his cock, the speed and depth to how he entered me, I could hear and sense your humiliation as I told him how wonderful it was to finally have such a big cock inside of me, to be filled by a real man.  I knew. I knew that you were longing to be him, longing to be in that place, that you weren't jealous of him, but longed to be him.

I knew that your cock would be straining against the device I had locked you in before we had gone out for the evening. After all, I wanted you properly dressed, you looked so handsome in your dinner suit, the bow-tie, it was as much as I could do to keep my hands from you before we had left, I had teased you, tormented you, edged you until you were so aroused and then locked you away.  Laughing at your frustration.

And there you sat, across the room, witnessing him fucking me.  My kissing him, our moans and groans of passionate release as he fucked me harder, deeper, as I rode him.  All the while, you sat there watching us. Watching him. Watching me.  

We were lost in the desires, the lust of the moment, oblivious to your humiliating defeat, oblivious to the strains of your cock.  Oblivious to your burning cheeks of longing, of need, of desire, your broken humiliation as his cock filled me deeply. Oblivious to your own moans as he came deep inside of me.

And you had no idea that soon it would be your turn.  That this would be your moment of even deeper humiliation as I order you to your knees before him, to clean his cock which had moments before been deep inside me.  

And you had no idea that your humiliation would only be complete as you led on your back while I straddled your mouth and ordered you to clean me, to clean me deeply and thoroughly, your tongue recoiling at the taste of him.

And you had no idea as your tongue brought me to a shuddering orgasm that my juices, his juices would flow over your face, your mouth, and your tongue, trickling down the back of your throat causing you to gag. You were broken. Your humiliation marked by us both.

You JoJo. Had no idea.

Chastity - what's in it for the lady?

There's a couple of rather interesting threads on IC right now.  I don't often say that as I find so many of the threads and posts really dull and that people find it more appropriate to pick up and on people for their lack of grammar or spelling than the subject being discussed.  And there often tends to be the same old threads that get brought to the surface time after time, with dictionary definitions being thrown into the mix along with those who think their way, is the only way. . . .

Anyway, recently a male submissive posted asking the question, Male Chastity ~ what is in it for the lady?

He is at the beginning of exploring a journey having taken the step of telling his wife about his submissive tendencies and his interest in chastity.  Not an easy thing we know and not something that always brings positive results, but interesting just the same.

He wanted to find an understanding of what the female dominant would get from keeping a male in chastity.  I had a similar conversation with someone a long time ago, about the things that appeal to me about chastity and denial.  And the things that I get from it.

Of course I have written in my blog HERE and HERE about my own thoughts about chastity and denial and what it does for me, the reasons why I like it and also what was explored with the boy.  

But some other comments which I also agree with that have been shared in this thread have certainly given food for thought, and made me realise that there's probably a whole host of undiscovered benefits and things that can come from it.

Such as . . .

"When my partner is in chastity I not only find him paying more attention to me, but I pay more attention to MYSELF.

It's almost like early days of courting. I make sure I'm dressing up and flirting with him to make his predicament all the more punishing." Mistress Watchful

I hadn't given that a lot of thought to be honest.

But I guess that yes, it could very much be the case.  That you become very much aware of his predicament, you become very aware of the difficulties or struggles he is having in his denial, and in turn you become more aware of the additional attention that he pays, but also the attention that you in turn pay to yourself.  Certainly something that has given a little food for thought . . 

But I really enjoy reading about the things that certain actions or certain things bring to others, the things it brings to their relationship.  I think we can learn an awful lot, it gives a never ending supply of ideas and inspiration.  And yes, I do find learning of others, their relationships and dynamics inspiring to the things that I like or want to explore if it is something new to me. It is all a never ending learning curve I think, we never stop learning.

One of the things that really stands out and something I wholly agree with is  "I get nothing out of locking up a man who cannot control himself honourably without a device. That is boring as the sub is not really submitting,just being forced. Forced submission is to me about as meaningless as it gets." Ms Valentine 

And this is exactly how it is for me.

I  also find that it is much more fulfilling when the chastity and denial is done without the device.  It is harder of course, but when someone is denied in this way without the use of a device it shows his honour in submitting and the he isn't just doing it because there is a device in place, forcing his submission.  Devices are a bonus. A visual (but wonderful!) bonus which I like to use and have in place.  Plus their use can come in very handy for the fulfilment of some sadistic needs and desires!  But, not having a need for the device is important to me.  Having the submission without it being forced by the device is important to me!

Someone actually mentioned using devices in relation to "trust". For me, if a device has to be used because there is no trust, or because you do not trust someone when you are apart from each other then, IMO there are serious issues beyond this.  The trust, has to be there, just as it does in any dynamic or any relationship. If I had to put someone in a device when I was apart from them, just to trust them, then that wouldn't work for me in the slightest.

Don't get me wrong, I love devices, I love how they look, how they work and they certainly fit in with my own sadistic needs in terms of chastity . . .but, I wouldn't want it to be in place because it has to be. Devices for me are an additional.  A bonus, albeit a delightful one!

Ultimately of course control is the main thing I get from it.  (It is of course the focus of things for me)

The level of control it gives me and in the ways it gives it to me. It goes above and beyond just meeting any sexual desire or need. I don't do it for him, because he wants to, or because it is what he wants. (Although I don't have a problem if it is what he wants!) I do it for the reasons that I choose or want to, for what it gives to me, the level of control that it gives me and all the things that it brings to me and also into the relationship. I like the intimacy that it can bring. But ultimately I do it because I love it! I love the control of it!

I get other things from it too ~ I like to witness psychological changes that a man goes through in his denial. The way it alters his feelings, changes his patterns of behaviour, but also his attentitiveness. I like how you can use chastity to change and control these feelings and behaviours too.

For me, it isn't about long term denial of orgasms, (although I don't think a few months is too long) but I don't have a desire to move towards celibacy as that isn't what I want. Instead I want control over his body, the release that he may be granted and when and in what way. I like to deny just because I can, to push, to stretch, to tease and deny. To keep him simmering like a saucepan on a low heat, knowing that it keeps his interest, his drive and his longing.

It also fulfils needs for me in terms of my own sadistic needs and desires, it can be incredibly sexy and is a tool that can be used in a wonderful but also powerful way. It is done on MY terms, when I want, how I want and in what ways I want. Ultimately, it is very much about having control although, I get a great deal out of it, and more than I thought possible when I first explored it.

I know that many people do not often see what the other can get from something,  I get a whole lot from chastity, from denial, from having that control.  Mephista commented into the thread with this . . .

"It's not something I've ever really explored. To be honest I get so many memos from men wanting me to keep them in chastity that I find myself thinking "even when it's not about your cock, it's all about your cock".

What worries me about long term chastity is that I do occasionally like to have sex with my subs, and the last thing I want is a boy with a hair trigger response."

And I think so often we can be led to believe that implementing something into a dynamic would or could potentially lead to missing out on something that we enjoy, but it doesn't have to be the case.  The thing with chastity and denial is that it is something that the dominant really does have control over, to how it works, to how it fits, to when it takes place.  If she wants to have sex she can do, when she wants, chastity doesn't have to be about long term denial (and as I've mentioned before, that verges for me, to much on the edge of celibacy which is most definitely not what I want!)

But I think, Ms Valentine expressed it very well and as I totally agree with these thoughts I wanted to quote them here . .


"It is the absolute flexibility of sexual control which make sit so suitable to many D/s situations. One can use devices or not. One can require honour chastity. Chastity can be alternated with 'forced' orgasms, ruined orgasms, teasing and denial or any combination of them. I am sure there are things I haven't thought of which can be added to that basic set. One can have PIV sex because even if you like devices, all you have to do is take it off when you want sex.

In fact, chastity and sexual control can be used by any red blooded 'cock loving' dominant women who want to have a fully sexual relationship with a submissive male. Playing with chastity does not stop anything unless the woman herself wants it to be stopped. It is her choice. If she likes vaginal sex, she can have it and many of us certainly do want that. 

It is not unnatural to want a good fuck, no matter what the weird femdom orthodoxy would have us believe about how dominant women should interact with their sub. You know the stuff...no sex but oral, cuckold him with a 'real' man and never have his cock inside you and always strap a bit of plastic to your hips and fuck him saying you are taking your pleasure with him"

And this is something I wholly agree with.

Chastity has a great deal of flexibility to work within any dynamic, to any degree, whether it be dipping the toes in or something a lot more involved and extended.  I for one, love that flexibility that it gives for the control, but also the ways in which control can be given and indeed taken.  

There is so much about it that just works.

Just fits.

Aside from the sexual desires, the impact it can have on behaviour and attention, the changes that it can have upon the chastised and for the Dominant too.  There are many things that could be added, I am sure that many women would be able to add to the list of what it does for them or what is in it for them.

But there is endless things in it for the lady.

It is why I enjoy it and think it can play such a part within an FLR, or at least one for me!

Even though going back over time it was initially something that didn't overly appeal.  We discover, we learn and often just find something that works and is right for us.  We find out why it does and then we wonder why we didn't explore sooner LOL

I know what is in it for me.  I know that there's a whole lot in it for me . . .

And I love it! :)

Breathless and wanting

The club is busy. 

But then it is a friday night, and it is one of the reasons why I decided to bring you here on this particular time. You are unsure. Hesitant of what lies before you.  But the fears that you have create a desire within your mind. A desire which your body clearly shows.

"We'll have a great time" I had told you, not really trying to reassure you, but just making a statement as we had walked in several hours before. 

And now I'm sat there wondering where you have wandered off to, although not overly bothered that you have left me alone.  I am comfortable in my own company.  I am comfortable in the company of people who I do not know.  I do not feel a need to talk if I don't want to.  I don't feel that I have to.  I am content with people watching. 

And that is exactly what I had been doing since you had gone for your roam around.  I enjoy this time out and I know that you cannot do anything while you are securely locked in the confines of your chastity device. And the little fluffy white towel that I have allowed you to wear over it, for now at least, covering that, keeping at bay the humiliation you would feel if someone were to discover what lay beneath.

I privately had hoped that someone would discover it, from touching you without your permission and wondered how you would react.

I smiled at that thought as I lower myself into the water. 

The bubbles from the jacuzzi relaxing me to a point where I'm quite happy if you don't rush back anytime soon.

After all, you've just brought me to an intense and wonderful orgasm with your tongue while I ignored your administrations while sucking another man's cock.  Your arousal limited by the constraints of the device, I had heard you groan more than once with the frustration but also the discomfort of your own arousal, something which only heighted my own.

The wonderful liberating feelings of doing what you want, when you want and with who you want. Even if those "who" aren't known.  No care in the world.  No worries as to what anyone else may think or feel.  And how such kinky, wild or even outrageous sex can be so self-actualising.  That it can cause you to lose all traces of self-consciousness.  That you can lose who you are in that moment, but can be who you are. Be who you want to be.  No worries. No judgement.  And that at the heart of every wild sexual thing that you may do, is that you can be yourself.  That you can lose your ego.  That you lose any self-consciousness and can be who we are. Freely and unobstructed.

I sink lower into the water feeling the warm bubbles against my naked skin, I sigh as I lean my head back, closing my eyes for a short while.

I am lost in my relaxation.

Not oblivious to the others that share the jacuzzi with me.  Not totally oblivious to the girl next to me giving the man she is with a blow job in the water.  Her head bobbing up and down, coming up for air every so often, or his hands on top of her head forcing her down under the jets of water to take him into her mouth and throat more deeply, with her forcing her face to the surface gasping for air.  A look of fear on her face each time he holds her down harder and for longer.  The look of fear, the way he forces her makes my own body stir.

I am not totally oblivious to her hand that is gently moving up and down my leg while she sucks him and neither am I oblivious to his hands playing with my now erect nipples as he twists them, pulls them and flicks them.  I keep my eyes closed for extended periods of time, allowing my body to sink into the feelings that my own body brings as it reacts to the administrations of this unknown couple. 

Unashamedly, I do nothing to stop either of them.  Instead, I relax into the feelings, sighing deeply as her fingers reach into the depths of my arousal.  Her fingers are long and slender, but do not take long to find how to bring me to a gentle orgasm. 

The jacuzzi comfortably holds 15, maybe even 20, but there are 8 or 10 of us in there at the most.  The girl and myself; the only females.

My eyes wander to the rather interesting scene playing out before me.  A grey haired man, probably in his late 40's maybe early 50's but certainly well toned for his age stands up, tentatively stepping over the entangled legs and feet that are in his way as he makes his way to stand behind the other girl.  

My eyes quickly glance over his face, his body.  My eyes meeting his own as we exchange glances and smiles.  His cock is erect, hard, and I can clearly see the veins running through it.  I find myself drawn to him, something about the way that he moves without word.  Purposefully. His cock certainly looks good enough to suck, I can certainly imagine taking him deep into my mouth.

But as those thoughts go through my head and in turn through the rest of my body I decide that it is something for later, certainly when my "wandering friend" has returned.  After all, it isn't something that I would want him to miss out on. 

I watch as the older man stands behind the girl lowering himself slowly as his cock enters into her with force as she is taken completely by surprise by this intrusion into her body. She comes up quickly from the cock she is sucking. Her fingers working furiously inside of me.  She gasps, groans and moans.  I do the same and move to allow her easier access to the depths of me as she furiously moves her fingers in and out of me, rubbing against my clit that is stood to attention at the wonderful feelings that her fingers bring to me.

The guy she is with, looks up as he watches this unknown man pumping hard into his partners cunt.  She is struggling for balance until the older guy grabs her shoulders to steady her.

"Fuck her hard man" the guy next to me says, "Fuck her and use her however you want to.  Fuck her like the dirty slut that she is".

The man certainly does so, forcing his cock in and out of her, pushing her down into the water, she tries to maintain her sucking of her own guy's cock.

His words resonate in my head.

I look at him.

His voice brings shivers to me. I do not know if they are good or bad.  But there is something about his voice, the way he talks, the way he grants a complete stranger permission to use his partner in this way.  I recognise the voice from earlier and I continue to watch him as he turns to face me.

I am struggling to place him, struggling for recognition, yet I know that he isn't completely unknown to me.  And then he turns to me and whispers "It's my turn to play with you now, except this time I get to see your face". 

And I smile.  And I blush as I smile.

As it all falls into place.

I know that he was the same man that had stood behind me, playing with my body when I had forced my partner against the wall while I devoured his mouth with my own. 

We had been locked in a moment of breathless kissing, my teeth biting his lips, my tongue forcing its way deep into his mouth as I forced his head against the wall.  He on the other hand had touched me from behind.  His hands had forced their way between my legs, around my body, twisting and pinching my nipples so hard they hurt, playing with me all the time that I was locked in a kiss.  He had brought me to a fast and furious orgasm, I felt my own juices running down my thighs as he whispered thank you into my ear before he had walked away. 

I hadn't seen his face.

He hadn't seen mine.

And when I had turned to see who it was, it was impossible to know from the small group of people that had stood and witnessed my orgasm stolen by a complete stranger which one he was.  I scanned the room for any clue.

Except there wasn't one.  I didn't even know who this person was who had stolen such a wonderful orgasm from my body. 

But now, several hours later, I knew exactly who it was.

He pulled his girl towards him, the man still pumping into her. He kissed her deeply before turning away from her handing her over to this rather sexually adept guy and kissed me in exactly the same way.

I am left breathless.

Breathless and wanting. 

Breathless and wanting him.

Wanting him. Desiring him. Needing him.

He doesn't say anything as he looks at me. He simply grins. And I want to slap him and hurt him. But I want to kiss him, and hurt him and fuck him. And I want him to take me and use me and fuck me and to force another orgasm from me. 

Although this time, I want him to do it while I look into the depths of his eyes.  They draw me in. Our eye contact lasts as he moves towards me.

He remains silent.

And my body is doing things that it shouldn't be. And I am thankful that my own arousal is washed away with the warm waters of the jacuzzi and the bubbles that continue working their way around my body.

He leans against the back of the tub with one of his arms, and looks at me still grinning.  I am determined not to break his gaze.  I don't want to look down at the hard cock that I can feel against my leg.  I know it is there. I can feel it. I remember how it felt from earlier. 

In fact, I remember far too well.

His hands are on me now. 

One of them pushing the hair back from my face, the other deftly sliding over my body, between my legs, over my breasts, fingers pinching my nipples, twisting them, hurting them.  I groan deeply as he twists them harder.  One of my hands is pressing against his cock and I can tell that he likes it as I begin to tease him. 

He moves now. Sitting wide legged. He pulls me closer and without thought or hesitation I am on his lap.

And the water is bubbling furiously around us. And I don't know who guided his hardness into me, but I know it was me that kissed him furiously, biting and sucking his lips, drawing blood as I do so. And his hands grip my ass tightly as he pulls me down around him, I feel his pelvic bone hard against me as he forces me down further, pushing his cock deeper inside.  And the water and the bubbles splash around us.

And I'm breathless.

Breathless and wanting.

Breathless and wanting him. 

And his girl is watching us now. And the guy fucking his girl is watching us now.  And the other people in the jacuzzi are watching us now. 

And I am screaming into his mouth as I fuck him and I don't notice the people around us, the people stood watching us.  And I don't care that they are stood there watching us.  And I don't care that I am screaming into his mouth. And I don't care that he is fucking me and I am being brought to a most intense orgasm by a complete stranger when only mintues before, one was stolen from me by his girl.  And I don't care that I don't even know his name as he forces me down with such force onto his cock that I can feel him deep, deep within me.  And I don't care that he is pulling my hair as I devour his mouth with my own.

And I am remembering the orgasm he stole from me earlier. And his hands are around me. And I'm pushing down onto him, harder and faster and I cannot believe I am about to orgasm once again.

And I bury my face into his neck, biting and sucking hard into the pale skin and his fingers are sliding around my ass, finding their way between the cheeks. And oh god, he remembers from earlier just what happens when his fingers find their way into my ass.

And I am breathless.

Breathless and wanting.

Breathless and wanting as I fuck him. As he finger fucks my ass. One finger, then two and I am forcing myself down onto his cock to feel him, but at the same time forcing myself down onto his fingers that are now deep within me.  And my heart is racing fast, and my breathing is shallow, and my long nails dig into his skin, scratching him. Hurting him.  And I feel hands all over my body, not just his. But his girls.  And the hands of the man that was fucking his girl.

And there are hands and mouths on my neck and back. And there are hands on my breasts and on my body.  And his cock is still hard within me. And he is kissing me, kissing my neck, holding me, whispering things to me about what else he wants to do to me.  And I am riding him harder and faster.  And there are hands and mouths and bodies everywhere.

And I am lost to the waves of orgasm that course through my body.  As I look up from his neck to see the grey haired guy stood behind me.  And he whispers into my ear

"It's my turn now" as his cock forces his way into my ass.

And I remember how beautiful his cock had looked before he had taken the girl from behind. But now here I am, two cocks pumping in, tearing me apart, stretching my insides.  And the girl is sucking and playing with my nipples and I am fucking and being fucked.

And wave after waves of orgasm courses through my body and as they do so, I look up and see you have returned. 

And you are stood there looking at me, a look of surprise but deep arousal upon your face.  The towel tied around your naked body.  And I know that your cock is forcing against the constraints of the device. And I can make the outline out from behind the towel. 

And you are drinking in all that is playing out before your eyes.  Watching the guy I am sat upon, the guy who is fucking me deeply from behind, the girl who is sucking on my nipples where you had been only a short time ago. And the hands of the others playing with any vacant body part and skin that they can touch. 

And I can see your arousal.  And it arouses me even more.

And I am breathless.

Breathless and wanting.

Breathless.

As he fucks me harder. As she sucks me harder. And as I feel the cocks inside of me coming to the brink of yet another orgasm, my juices mingling with the bubbles of the jacuzzi.  My screams being lost amongst the voices of "fuck her harder", "fuck her deeper", "fuck her ass" and they are fucking me harder and deeper.  And as they steal another orgasm from the depths of my body, their own being given to me.

And we collapse into the water.  And we are breathless. Breathless and spent.  Our bodies all intermingled in the depths of the water.  The bubbles playing havoc with a highly aroused body. Hands gently stroking and touching as we recover from the activity of only moments before.

I turn and look at you stood there, your eyes taking in the scene that has just played out before you.  I smile at you. My eyes beckon you over to join us.  Except I know that you are hesitant in revealing the device which you wear.

I raise my eyebrows and you know that I am losing patience in waiting for you. But I can see the battle going on in your head. The humiliation of people seeing, but your desire to be there with me.

And with that, you remove the towel placing it onto a peg on the wall.  Your eyes lowered as you step gingerly into the water.  Your cheeks flushing with the embarrassment at showing yourself in this way.

"See it wasn't that bad was it?" I ask you as you lower yourself into the water.  I move slightly to the side to allow you to sit next to me.  "But see what you miss out on when you wander off" as I grin at him.  Hands still stroking my body, my own touching bodies but not knowing who it is touching.

I can sense your nervousness. Your arousal. Your longing.  And you are breathless and wanting.

"I really need to remove this device" you whisper into my ear.  "May I?"

"Maybe JoJo. Maybe."

Your friend. My lover.

He was your friend. 

But he become my lover. 

You invited me over for dinner. 

A special evening you had prepared to help ease and remove the stresses of the week that I had had at work. 

I had been hesitant in making the trip.  The ninety minute journey was always hard work, especially on a friday evening. But I was free the next day and thought it was an ideal opportunity to have some time out. To relax and for us to spend some time together. That it would give us plenty of time to do all what I had planned and plenty of time for you to attend to the growing needs that my arousal from our time apart had created.  

It was a couple of weeks since I had seen you.  I was looking forward to it.  I had plans for you. Plans for us.  The beast had been kept within its cage and was prowling for release. The thoughts running through my mind had only served to increase my already aroused state.  Your own arousal had built each day that you continued to be denied and locked.  

I needed some time out, I needed to be treated, pampered, worshipped. And I knew that you were more than capable of doing all of these things. 

I could have had you fuck me the minute you opened the door and let me in. 

Instead we kissed, hard. A hunger and passion growing with every lingering second.  I wanted you there and then. And my hand made its way down your body, down to your hardening cock straining in the device which it had been in for the time we had been apart. The constraints it placed upon you causing you to gasp and moan, causing me to smile and laugh at your discomfort, at your pain.

And then he caught my eye.

Sat over on the sofa, he had been watching the growing passion between us.  I stopped and smiled at him.  I was annoyed that the plans I had for the evening ahead had to be put on hold but didn't show it to him. 

You said he was your friend. 

I whispered into your ear annoyed at this outside intrusion, "He will be my lover".

You stopped, looked at me. Eyes crestfallen.

You knew I wasn't joking.

You had decided to introduce us at dinner that night.  He and I never made it to dessert. As you cleared the table after dinner, the look in your eye as you glanced over to me said it all. 

Arousal. Jealousy.

Longing. Frustration. 

I told you to close the door as you went into the kitchen.  I knew you would be straining to hear any and every noise that you may hear and that not being able to would tease, torment and torture you. Now you would suffer for making plans without checking first.

He and I had moved into the lounge.

Sitting comfortably on the sofa we chatted freely and openly, and every so often I could hear you moving around in the kitchen, hoping for any sign, any signal of what was happening behind the closed door.  I knew that you were frustrated, annoyed, and desperately wanting to know what was happening.

He was different to you in so many ways.

But there was something that attracted me to him almost immediately.  I remember noticing the slight flecks of grey appearing in his hair, brought to my attention the moment he pushed his hand nervously through it.

I could tell he was a little unsure of what was happening, knowing that something was going to, but not having any idea what would.

I shifted myself on the sofa, bringing one of my stockinged legs up so I could turn and face him. His eye was drawn to the laced top which he could see through the split which ran up my thigh in the long ankle length skirt.  His hand was resting uneasily on his leg and reaching over to it, I stroked my nails teasingly along the length of his fingers, placing my own around his fingers, I moved his hand from his own leg over onto the top of my stockings as I told him to touch me.

He looked up at me. Up at the kitchen door. Confusion clear to see on his face. 

"It's ok" I said to him.

"He already knows"

He was shaking slightly. From nerves? No, not really. More so from anticipation, from arousal, from being unsure of what I was saying to him was right. He looked at me in somewhat disbelief as his fingers traced the lace around the top of my stocking, my legs moving apart as his hand moved more forcefully between my thighs, soon discovering that I wasn't wearing any underwear. His fingers soon found their way between my legs, my own body betraying the deep arousal that I felt at his hand, at what we were doing with you only a short distance away.

The groan that escaped from my mouth caught both him and me by surprise.

He stopped.

I looked at him, demanding him to carry on. 

He teased me with his fingers, plunging them deep inside, fucking me with his hand until I came on his fingers hard, my juices running over his fingers and as I removed his hand I forced his fingers into his mouth, he licked his own fingers clean before I kissed him hard. Tasting myself upon his lips. 

His cock was hard. 

His eyes slightly glazed, his breathing deep, yet shallow. A hunger growing, a passion building.  We kissed fervently, passionately, hungrily, hands roaming everywhere, clothes being removed with haste, abandoned as they were thrown without care.  Moans and groans clearly audible mixed with heavy breathing and passionate gasps.

The kitchen door opened, you had come to serve dessert, except, I was already having it.

I was having him.

NSFC

I don't normally comment on the comments that people have left in response to the previous blog entries that I have written, not unless it is a point for discussion, a question that I think is best to answer in a blog or just because I want to . . .but, its not a common occurrence it has to be said.

Anyway, Her toy commented on an entry I wrote on Friday Talking . . .(while fucking) needless to say, it is rather an "erotic" based post (the title kind of gives that away in itself lol) but on reading the post Her toy commented with the following . . .

So, i think this might be entirely selfish of me to say, but You may want to consider a NSFC (Not Safe For Chastity) warning for some of Your posts. Or maybe not. :)"

Cuckold H from Lady Beautiful's Journey commented in response . . .

P.S NSFC (Not Safe for Chastity) is a good idea but really we know what blogs we read and what they contain.

And this is very true!

We do all know what type of blogs we are reading, we also know what the content is likely to be, so in that way, everyone is responsible for their own choices about what they read. 

So, why do I not use or intend to use any such warnings?

It's my blog. 

I choose to do what I do, choose to write how I write, and that is within my control and in the ways I want to, not because someone has told me to do. (See, I'd never make a good sub beyond bottoming lol)

And yes, even in blogland it comes to "control". After all, for me, it is all about control.

But here, I am in control of what I write, what I choose to write and what I don't.  I have the freedom to write what I want, how I want and to not have any limitations imposed on that (within reason of course lol)  But, I guess the main reason I do not include any warnings, particularly the "Not safe for chastity" is because, I'm a sadist.

If you read my blog and are in chastity and it makes you suffer. Good.

If you are within chastity as part of your own dynamic and end up suffering or struggling even more.  Good.

I'm a sadist. 

I like people suffering. I like the fact that people suffer and struggle.  I don't do sympathy (or very rarely!) and I enjoy the struggles and difficulties that one may face while in chastity. 

So, why would I want to warn them away?

Why would I want to make their life easier?

Hmmmmm . . .I wouldn't.

Sorry . . .what was that you muttered under your breath?  Something about Bitch?  

LOL

Yes I can be. 

Yes I am.  But then, that’s part of who I am.

So, no warnings, no NSFC at the top of my posts. Read at your peril and battle with your struggles . . .oh, and have a little self control *wink*

LOL 

50th day of denial.

Those who read my blog will know as far as the boy is concerned I do not count the days for which he has been denied. 

I have written previously about my thoughts and feelings on chastity and denial, why I like it and why it is (and always will be) a part of any relationship.  So I do not count how long I deny the boy for.

He does. 

And sometimes he will let me know "in passing" (although I know it is intentional) just how long it has been.

He did that today.

"the boy would also like to thank you for his 50th day of denial, to be denied by you is a wonderful feeling ! "

"50th day. Is that all? lol"

"It feels like 3 months Mistress"

"Feels like 3 months? Well the boy may well  know what it is like to be denied for 3 months. After all not much longer to wait"

*silence*

*laughs*

What is the boy expecting?

Does he want a medal? Does he want sympathy? Does he want a standing ovation?  Does he want an orgasm for being such a good boy?

It wouldn't have been 50 days if he had behaved as he should.  It wouldn't have been 50 days if he hadn't backchatted. It wouldn't have been 50 days if when given the chance to orgasm he then said he felt he didn't deserve to because he had been disrespectful.

So, while I may have denied him. It is his own fault it is 50 days. 

On a side note, 50 days without a device being in place is some achievement.  The boy had lots of chances to touch and edge last weekend to increase his levels of frustration.  But 50 days. The way the boy handles this extended denial despite the levels of frustration I know he feels does please me.  I am pleased with how he has accepted my control over his release, over when he can or cannot touch and I know that I push him hard beyond times many people would be able to "cope" with.

I wonder if he still regrets saying how much he wanted to explore long term denial?

*laughs*

Give me MORE!!!!

“Man is the only animal whose desires increase as they are fed; the only animal that is never satisfied.” ~Henry George

Is this true?

Is man the only animal whose desires increase as they are fed?

The only animal that is never satisfied? 

Who knows in relation to other animals and if in "man" it means "humans" regardless of gender, then yes it could quite be true.
 

It is certainly true for me ~ "feed me" and my desires, my longings, my needs are felt and grow, keep growing . . .keep wanting and desiring and wanting more, to a point where I am not satisfied, or that it takes even more to reach a level of satisfaction.

I think this would also be true for the boy. 

But his desires are increasing because he is denied. 


Is being denied the same as being fed?


Yes, I believe it quite possibly is . . .denial, chastity, being controlled, is feeding his needs as a submissive.  All of those things feed the need he has to submit, to be controlled and to give himself over to another.
So, in that way, his being denied is his being fed. My denial of him, feeds his submissive needs and desires, and in turn, that denial increases those desires.  And in turn my control over him, meets my needs, and "feeds" my desires.

The quote suggests that the more that someone is "fed" the more they desire.  It doesn't of course make any suggestion to how, or what man is fed.  But, even if being "fed" is being denied, it increases a desire. It increases the boy's desire.  My denial of him changes his focus, and his desire to touch, to edge, to orgasm builds with every minute of denial.  But yet, he is never satisfied sexually because he is denied.  Whereas with me, I am just never satisfied LOL 

A lot of D/s relationships, a lot of FLRs or WLMs often have a situation where the submissive is restricted from having an orgasm, or that they can only have one within certain conditions.  Of course, such denial can be a wonderful thing, it is often like it is for me, just plain enjoyable to wield such control and power over the pleasure (or not) of another, and of course, the submissive who submits to that control. 

And this is often one of the differences between men and women.  In the fact that often with women, the more they are denied, the longer they can go without it that their desires do not build but the desire dissipates to a level where there is no desire at all or it is very minimal.  I know from my own experiences that extended periods of time without sexual contact or denial has this effect. 

But for the boy, for men, it does make them hungry, it does make them desire it more, it does make them sex starved and get to a place where they will do almost anything for the even slightest chance of release.  And I see that with the boy.

I know for me that being denied doesn't make me hungry, it doesn't make me desire more.  It doesn't make me sex starved.  In fact, it has the opposite effect.  If I am “fed” then I want more. I need more.  It makes me hungry, it makes me want as much as I can get, if I have one orgasm I want a dozen, as many as I can get, as many as I want.  I simply cannot get enough, and if I am “fed” my desires increase to way beyond what may even be considered the “norm” (whatever the norm is)  Yet if I have any period of time where I am without, that desire, the hunger dissipates.

I love how denial creates the desire in the boy, of how it makes him want more.  And I love how my being "fed" with orgasms, with pleasure, with his submission makes me want it all the more.  It feeds my desire, my longings, my needs.  My denying him feeds his needs.

And right now, I have a hunger.

A hunger that is desperate to be fed.  A hunger that simply won’t be satisfied. 


So feed me, give it to me. Give me more!

Continued denial . . .

Well, the boy continues in his extended period of denial. 

Extended even beyond what I had intended due to his behaviour or more so inappropriate behaviour, he blogs HERE each and every day about his feelings in relation to his continued denial, and I honestly cannot tell you how long it is he has been denied for.

But then, you will also know, that I do not care how long he has actually been denied for.  Counting is one thing I have never done and I don't intend to start doing so now either.  The boy will remain denied for as long as I choose, for as long as I want. And if he does anything like he has done recently, his period of denial will continue to be extended!

There have been a couple of times in the past couple of weeks, most notably the day he asked to watch the rugby and spoiled my fun with his inappropriate comment which prevented him from being able to touch, to edge but more so to orgasm, I think that is even approaching a week or more ago.

Then there was the other night, after I made the effort to call the boy, my daytime routine is so busy and I hadn't been able to find so much time to talk to the boy.  But, instead of the boy appreciating it, he decided to behave like a child. 

Not only did this lead to an extension to the being denied an orgasm, it really did make me question whether there is any point at times in taking things further with the boy.  The boy is very aware of my thoughts regarding this, and he is fully aware that if he does what he did again, that seriously will have a BIG implication on anything of the "future".

He says he has learnt so much, lets hope he has learned that I mean what I say, and lets hope he doesn't find out the hard way! 

But his denial has and will continue.

I do not care how long it is.  I still do not count.  I have no intention of even beginning to. 

But, unless the boy stops doing the things that he is doing, it will continue way beyond even I had thoughts of. 

I read his chastity blogs that he writes, where he expresses his frustrations, where he expresses how he is struggling not to touch, how he longs to, how he is finding it so hard.  The boy knows he will not get any sympathy from me.  He knows I do not do sympathy.  He also knows that I can be very hard when it comes to such things and that his whinging, his pleading, his moaning will only push me to deny him further.

Why do I?

Yes of course it is because I can. 

But it is because I choose to.

It is because I have that control over him, something he hasn't had controlled in this way before and it really does for me, come down to the control aspects. 

Not so much the act itself, not so much that I deny his orgasms, not even so much that I control when he edges, when he touches, or if he doesn't. It is the fact that I control it. That I choose how, when, or not at all.  And it is that whole aspect of control which is why I enjoy and get so much from chastity and denial.

The boy did comment the other day that it had been 5 weeks since his last orgasm the other day, and I told him in passing "Oh you're one 10th of the way there", he didn't say a lot at the time, but yesterday when we were talking actually came and made a comment that it would mean 50 weeks without an orgasm!   He then went on to comment that he is unsure of whether I am joking, or whether I was in fact being serious.  He doesn't really need to ask!

I mean, has it really taken him that long to work it out LOL

I do wonder about the boy sometimes you know. 

And so my denial of him continues.  And it isn't so much that it has been so many days since he touched or edged or orgasmed, it is all about the control and the fact I control his denial, and how long it continues for. 

It will continue. But for how long, only time will tell!