My response VIII ~ what you want?

Dear mister_ticklist

How interesting, that you should write to me, stating that female dominants are rare.

I would disagree.

We are not that rare, not really!

You have written to me, with a tick list, a long email no doubt written and sent a hundred times before, to a hundred different people, in the hope that you will find someone who will give you exactly what you want.

You profess to be submissive, however, your email, your "list" clearly shows that you like a bit of kink when you fancy a bit, that you want your kink to be as you like it, when you want it, where, when and exactly how you want it.  You make it clear that I would be expected to "perform" for you, to dress in clothes that you think that I should be wearing, clothes that make me dominant.  You state how I should act, to be dominant, and wanting me to do, only the things that you want to do.
I am sorry to disappoint you that I do not meet your specification of what a dominant female is. 

And I am disappointed that having read my profile, you think that we are on the same page or that I have misled in anyway that has led you to contact me.

I wonder if it is a dominant that you seek, you want to be in charge. You want to be in control. You want someone, anyone it appears,  to cater to your needs, when, how and where you want.

We are not on the same page.  And on reflection, yes, perhaps female dominants are rare ~ or more so, just perhaps the female dominant that you are seeking is!

I hope that you have luck with your "spec".

My Response VII ~ Who cares?

Dear Iva_HardOn

You kindly took the time to write to me, saying how much you enjoyed reading things that I have written, that there were things that you related to, that "hit home".

That I appreciate.

I am glad that you feel that way and that there are things that I have written that make you think!

It is a shame you hadn't managed to read THIS  before you sent your message!

Because, do you really think that I needed to know that as you were writing to me, after you had read, that you were sat there with a Hard on?

Why?

Why do I want to know?

Why do I care?

I don't.

My response VI - fantasies of femdom porn

Dear femdom_porn_fantasist

I do not live my life as if I am appearing in some Femdom porno film!

And I am not quite sure what leads you to think that all dominant women are of that ilk, that we are just this group of women who cannot wait to do things to a guy, such as yourself or that we are here to make a guy endure whatever.

Porn is porn.

It is an industry run by men and for men and in the main, is there to cater to the fantasies of men.

As such these movies give an incredibly false representation because he is the centre of attention and she is focusing every bit of her attention on him, which is quite far removed from the dynamic of D/s or an FLR.

The concept that D/s or an FLR (or whatever "term" you wish to use to describe such a dynamic) is all about what a woman does to a man is a very prevalent belief, but is also a misconception.  

It is this imagery that leads so many submissive men, like yourself, to have this idea that Dominant females are here to meet every want, need or desire that you may have and the belief that this is what D/s or FLRs are about.

It isn't. Not by a long shot.

Instead these images in turn makes it very hard work for dominant women like myself who do not live their life like a porno movie to get this across.  It creates a barrier that we have to get through to show that those images, those porn films are not the reality, that yes they may depict women having fun, enjoying what they are doing, but it doesn't reflect the dynamic as to how it can be lived.  

The porn industry, particular in relation to Femdom porn has a lot to answer for, of how it shows what us dominant females should be doing, should be wearing or how we conduct ourselves.  It is so far from how many dominant women are, of how the dynamic or relationships work.

Instead, the relationship is one which has a dynamic where there is a power imbalance, it is not defined by those images from porn which suggests the dynamic is there to meet his desires or wants.  However, it is defined, in my opinion as a dynamic where his desire to serve, matches her desire to be served, but more so of the commitment that each makes to the relationship but which simply reflects within it, the shift of power, the shifting of the control over to her hands.

The desires or wants that I may have, are ones that are served by the FLR dynamic, where his desires and the needs or wants that he may show, are fulfilled in that dynamic because of his desire to serve and please his dominant ~ that is serving.

If I however choose to pick at certain desires, to fulfil certain needs, that is my choice as to how and when it may happen. It isn't defined by the dynamic and neither is it required by the dynamic in place.  But neither is the imagery that you have gained from watching so many misconceived ideas is it possible to live the life reflected in such false and fake situations that is depicted in so many areas of Femdom porn.

So, I do not feature in femdom porn. I do not live my life like I am in a porno movie, and as such, I have no desire to live out any porno fuelled fantasies that you may have.

It isn't my reality.  It never will be.

Good luck.

My Response V ~ sufficiently interested

Dear sufficiently_interested

It is rather strange that you took the time to send a message but all you could comment on was how long my profile took to read and a pathetic attempt at sarcasm at how I must like writing.

So what if I do?

You don't have to read it. 

No-one is forcing you to read it. No-one is forcing you to do anything.

But why bother to comment if that is all you have to say?

You said you read it because you  are "sufficently interested"

Can I just say, so you are left with no doubt . . .that feeling or interest is most definitely NOT mutual. 

I am not even remotely interested, let alone sufficiently so.


Good luck!

My Response IV ~ profile writer!

Dear will_you_write_my_profile

You didn't know that your own profile was blank?

Then you try to claim that you "attempted to fill it in ages ago" but that it didn't work.

Then you ask if I will help you do it now?

Will I?

Umm . . .in one word.

NO!

I will not write your profile!

Why would I?

I don't know you or anything about you!

And why would I then be interested in getting to know you further, if I've even had to write your profile?  Hmmmm . . . It really doesn't bode well for the future, if you can't even put a little effort in now.

Actually, wait a minute.

I will write it for you . . . .


"A right lazy cunt who cannot even be bothered to write a profile "


Would that do?

My response III ~ "devoted slave"

Dear devoted_slave

I always find it so impossible to believe how someone, in this case you, can declare their undying devotion as a slave to someone you have not even corresponded with previously, let alone know anything about! 

Does your devotion, your need to submit mean that you will do so to anyone, anywhere, regardless that you may have absolutely nothing in common with them? 

Does it (or you) have that little worth?

Does it really honestly show any devotion at all?

I think not.

Instead, it shouts of desperation and it screams of being nothing more than a spammy email, one without care or thought, that will have been sent to each and everyone who dare to declare themselves dominant whether they are seeking or not. 

While I may seek someone who would be devoted. I seek someone who takes the time to get to know me, but also to give time and thought, care and attention to who they are making contact with and to know that we are at least on the same page.

Not only are we not on the same page, but it seems with your declaration of your undying devotion to me, that you haven't even bothered to open the cover, let alone to start reading further!

My Response II ~ Just one big cock!

Dear send_lots_of_cock_pics

Would you walk up to someone you hadn't met before and show them your cock?

I am sure (or at least I would hope) that your answer to that question would be a resounding NO!

So, with that in mind, why do you think it should be any different, that your first contact to me, should involve sending lots of pictures of your cock! 

Is it supposed to interest me? please me? impress me?

It does absolutely none of those things.

Did I ask for them? Do I want to see them? Am I interested in them?

No, no AND no!

I have absolutely no interest in your cock or what you want ME to do to it.  I have absolutely no wish to know what anyone else has done to it.  And neither do I have any desire to do anything to it, or to you for that matter.  And if I did, it would be my choice what it was, not because you had told me that was what I was going to do.

It doesn't work that way. 

You, or your cock, are of no interest to me whatsoever.

I like smart men.

Smart men who are fully able to read a profile, to read what I have taken the time to write, who are able to take the time to introduce themselves and make polite, respectful contact.  You haven't been smart enough to do any of that, instead, you thought you would message me your cock thinking that it would be of such interest.

It isn't.

It couldn't have been further from being smart if you'd tried.

In fact, it isn't so much about your cock, but more so of how you have behaved like one! 

My response I ~ "apply"

Welcome to "My response" ~ my responses to contact, whether it be emails, via profiles on IC, CM, FL or others, or via my blog.

Dear how_do_i_apply

You don't! 

Surely you can clearly see from the effort I have put into my profile, of the things I have taken the time to describe and explain of what I would seek and of who I may or may not be compatible with.  And surely, because you have taken the time to carefully read the profile, you would then be able to see that it is far from a case of "applying".

Does my profile suggest that I have a "vacant position" that I am looking to fill? There isn't a "position". 

There is no application.

There is no interview.

There is nothing to apply for. 

Such to me is cold, heartless and empty. Void of anything personal.  We are talking about something which is a potential relationship, something which shares deep commitment, attachment and emotion. Something deeply personal.   Would you upon meeting someone out and about in the bar then turn round and ask them "how do you apply?".  I would hope not. So this is no different!  Although if this is how you do approach things, I can see why you are still searching!

I do not approach an FLR with such thoughts, such coldness or such emptiness.  My initial contact or even contact further down the line will not involve applications or interviews like some formal business arrangement. It starts with getting to know someone, my getting to know you and vice versa.  Just as it would in any other type of environment or any type of relationship.  It starts with someone opening themselves up, as we delve into their depths, and the more we get to know, the more we interact, a submissiveness reacting to my dominance and vice versa again. It develops with both wanting more, a building of interest, desire, hunger.

It builds to much more than that, it becomes so much more than that. It IS so much more than that!!!

So, do how_do_i_apply.  There is nothing to apply for.

Good luck!

(you may need it)