15 July 2015


"In normal life . .  .."  

Why do people think that I do something different in "normal life"?

I am as I am, who I am and what I am every day in my life.  I don't switch "me" on and off.  

This is me.  This is MY normal. 

I do not consider the needs that I have, the desires that exist within me, the kinks or the fetishes that I may have to be abnormal.  

I am NOT abnormal.  And neither is my life compartmentalised with some things being normal and other things not.  Life just is. 

I do not consider the D/s that I may follow, or the FLR to be not normal, it is, as it is. Part of normal life.  Part of MY life. Part of ME.

Yes, it maybe different to others, but why should it make what I do, what I have, what I want abnormal? 

It doesn't.  Not to me.

It is different compared to a lot of people, a lot of situations and a lot of relationships and that is OK. I absolutely accept that.  But what I don't accept is that "this", isn't normal life.

You see a lot of profiles on sites which says things along the lines of "in my normal life I enjoy  . . . ." and then lists activities and interests outside of D/s, but what makes that normal?

For me, all of the things that I do are normal.  Each part of my life is normal.  I do not consider that my FLRs or my D/s needs to be abnormal, they are all part of "life".  Normal life.


  1. Very well said kat. Every thing I do is normal for me. Following my wife's lead is normal and accepting her punishment is normal as is driving my car. There is no difference.

  2. Thank you archedone,

    I know everyone has a different "normal" but I do detest people that seem to think they have a right to be able to label someone as "abnormal". I do not distinguish, this is me, this is my life, this is my normal.

    I am glad that you see the "no difference" too!

    Best, Kat

  3. "Abnormal" has perjorative connotations. If you substitute "unusual" for "abnormal" it might be more accurate. Consider serial killers. Following your argument, they might well regard their propensity to slaughter to be perfectly normal. They probably see no reason to stop (except to avoid getting caught). Should they be able to argue that since what they do is normal to them, then it is OK?

    In a different vein, the existance of the phrase "she wears the trousers" shows that FLRs of various types are not quite as unusual as you seem to be saying.