"Life" Happens . . .

I feel like shit!

And that is somewhat putting it mildly.

For those who do know me, you will know that I am not a good patient.

I am not a "patient" patient!!!

In fact, I am not an anything patient.  Being or feeling ill is something that I do not have time for and it frustrates the hell out of me if it gets in the way.  It rarely does.  I don't take time out unless there really is no other choice.  But then there rarely is any other choice, what with work, family commitments, it just isn't possible to take that "downtime" that we sometimes need to recover more quickly and get back on our feet.

Well, I've now had toothache for approaching two weeks . . .I may have some masochistic "desires" at times, but this is neither a nice pain, or one I want.  It certainly would never fulfill any of those masochistic needs.  I haven't had time to even make an appointment for the dentist ~ let alone get to see one!

And now on top of it, I've got a really bad cough with a cold on the way. Passed on so very generously from one of the guys in the office, who having come into the office, declared he had man flu and then pissed off home, but here long enough of course just to spread whatever he has around!

Maybe I should just go home, curl up under the duvet with the dogs (who are also suffering from doggie colds and coughs :( ) a duvet day! That is what is in order . . .curl up, under the duvet, mug of lemsip with hot chocolate for later and do nothing.

If only . . . .

I don't have the time to be ill and I don't have the time to feel like this. Work is rather busy right now and as I am in the process of redesigning the whole new company website it means I'm having to work at home too . . .something that I try to avoid at all costs (although when you have your own company you know that there will be times it will filter over!)

Christmas is approaching and I don't have any "holiday spirit" although I have been tentatively searching for flights for a holiday next year so I am perhaps in the holiday spirit of a different kind LOL  but having loved New York immensely, hoping to travel back, maybe stay for a week or little longer, or combine it with a few days on the beach in Miami or somewhere else we have never been.  It is just a shame that the time of year I am looking at is such an expensive time for hotels in NYC!  

But, I need some sun NOW!  Novembers are increasingly depressing here in the UK, although today is a slight exception with a blue sky and the sun . . .it just isn't warm!

I have received some messages asking where I've been, why I've not blogged . . .well . . .now you know . . . "life" ~ it happens for all of us!

Blegh!

Why is it everything feels so much worse when you don't feel well.

I need some severe "me" time. Lots of pampering and time out . . .


If only eh!

“I fail a lot but in my heart I’m trying,” he told me.

It was almost too sad to hear. 

Because if someone is failing a lot, then there are reasons why they are and it isn't just going to be down to one person.

Is he being set up to fail by his dominant?

Is he being placed into situations which they know he won't succeed in?

Is he being instructed without clarity?

Is he being overloaded with rules, instructions and methods?

I think if someone within their submission feels that they fail a lot, (and maybe it is that they feel that they do and may not actually be the reality!) then a serious look needs to be given to the reasons why.  Are they actually failing or is it them feeling that they are?  Do they get positive or negative feedback? 

Failing or indeed the feeling of failing isn't good, not for anyone involved.  Someone can try as hard as they might, just as he was trying.  But, he could be failing for many reasons.  Yet, as many will relate, knowing that you have "failed" the dominant or let them down can be one of the worst feelings in the world, and very few people would want to put themselves into that place of experiencing those feelings from choice.

Why would he want to fail? He doesn't.  He is trying. He is doing his best.  But, it's not quite "there" . . .

Why?

Maybe it is because the instructions he has been given are not clear.  Maybe it is because he hasn't understood what has been asked of him.  Maybe he is being loaded with far too many things to remember all at once.  Maybe it is because he is not receiving the support and help that may be needed to positively achieve and succeed in the things that he does.

All of these things are important, they are also IMO the responsibility of the Dominant.  If someone keeps failing, then it is important that we know why, and if it is through lack of clarity or lack of understanding that steps are taken to resolve those issues so it doesn't keep on happening.

Personally, if a submissive of mine kept failing in such a way, I would certainly look upon it as my responsibility, not only to find out what is causing it, but also to change things so it doesn't continue happening.  Maybe it needs different methods, more time, more clarification, but it certainly needs something.

Sometimes we can try as hard as we can, give everything that we can and still not succeed, as long as we know that we have given our all then to be honest, that is all we can do, all we can ask.  But, when someone is in a place of feeling constant failure when in their heart of hearts they do believe they are giving it there all, then something is very wrong.

Chastity - what's in it for the lady?

There's a couple of rather interesting threads on IC right now.  I don't often say that as I find so many of the threads and posts really dull and that people find it more appropriate to pick up and on people for their lack of grammar or spelling than the subject being discussed.  And there often tends to be the same old threads that get brought to the surface time after time, with dictionary definitions being thrown into the mix along with those who think their way, is the only way. . . .

Anyway, recently a male submissive posted asking the question, Male Chastity ~ what is in it for the lady?

He is at the beginning of exploring a journey having taken the step of telling his wife about his submissive tendencies and his interest in chastity.  Not an easy thing we know and not something that always brings positive results, but interesting just the same.

He wanted to find an understanding of what the female dominant would get from keeping a male in chastity.  I had a similar conversation with someone a long time ago, about the things that appeal to me about chastity and denial.  And the things that I get from it.

Of course I have written in my blog HERE and HERE about my own thoughts about chastity and denial and what it does for me, the reasons why I like it and also what was explored with the boy.  

But some other comments which I also agree with that have been shared in this thread have certainly given food for thought, and made me realise that there's probably a whole host of undiscovered benefits and things that can come from it.

Such as . . .

"When my partner is in chastity I not only find him paying more attention to me, but I pay more attention to MYSELF.

It's almost like early days of courting. I make sure I'm dressing up and flirting with him to make his predicament all the more punishing." Mistress Watchful

I hadn't given that a lot of thought to be honest.

But I guess that yes, it could very much be the case.  That you become very much aware of his predicament, you become very aware of the difficulties or struggles he is having in his denial, and in turn you become more aware of the additional attention that he pays, but also the attention that you in turn pay to yourself.  Certainly something that has given a little food for thought . . 

But I really enjoy reading about the things that certain actions or certain things bring to others, the things it brings to their relationship.  I think we can learn an awful lot, it gives a never ending supply of ideas and inspiration.  And yes, I do find learning of others, their relationships and dynamics inspiring to the things that I like or want to explore if it is something new to me. It is all a never ending learning curve I think, we never stop learning.

One of the things that really stands out and something I wholly agree with is  "I get nothing out of locking up a man who cannot control himself honourably without a device. That is boring as the sub is not really submitting,just being forced. Forced submission is to me about as meaningless as it gets." Ms Valentine 

And this is exactly how it is for me.

I  also find that it is much more fulfilling when the chastity and denial is done without the device.  It is harder of course, but when someone is denied in this way without the use of a device it shows his honour in submitting and the he isn't just doing it because there is a device in place, forcing his submission.  Devices are a bonus. A visual (but wonderful!) bonus which I like to use and have in place.  Plus their use can come in very handy for the fulfilment of some sadistic needs and desires!  But, not having a need for the device is important to me.  Having the submission without it being forced by the device is important to me!

Someone actually mentioned using devices in relation to "trust". For me, if a device has to be used because there is no trust, or because you do not trust someone when you are apart from each other then, IMO there are serious issues beyond this.  The trust, has to be there, just as it does in any dynamic or any relationship. If I had to put someone in a device when I was apart from them, just to trust them, then that wouldn't work for me in the slightest.

Don't get me wrong, I love devices, I love how they look, how they work and they certainly fit in with my own sadistic needs in terms of chastity . . .but, I wouldn't want it to be in place because it has to be. Devices for me are an additional.  A bonus, albeit a delightful one!

Ultimately of course control is the main thing I get from it.  (It is of course the focus of things for me)

The level of control it gives me and in the ways it gives it to me. It goes above and beyond just meeting any sexual desire or need. I don't do it for him, because he wants to, or because it is what he wants. (Although I don't have a problem if it is what he wants!) I do it for the reasons that I choose or want to, for what it gives to me, the level of control that it gives me and all the things that it brings to me and also into the relationship. I like the intimacy that it can bring. But ultimately I do it because I love it! I love the control of it!

I get other things from it too ~ I like to witness psychological changes that a man goes through in his denial. The way it alters his feelings, changes his patterns of behaviour, but also his attentitiveness. I like how you can use chastity to change and control these feelings and behaviours too.

For me, it isn't about long term denial of orgasms, (although I don't think a few months is too long) but I don't have a desire to move towards celibacy as that isn't what I want. Instead I want control over his body, the release that he may be granted and when and in what way. I like to deny just because I can, to push, to stretch, to tease and deny. To keep him simmering like a saucepan on a low heat, knowing that it keeps his interest, his drive and his longing.

It also fulfils needs for me in terms of my own sadistic needs and desires, it can be incredibly sexy and is a tool that can be used in a wonderful but also powerful way. It is done on MY terms, when I want, how I want and in what ways I want. Ultimately, it is very much about having control although, I get a great deal out of it, and more than I thought possible when I first explored it.

I know that many people do not often see what the other can get from something,  I get a whole lot from chastity, from denial, from having that control.  Mephista commented into the thread with this . . .

"It's not something I've ever really explored. To be honest I get so many memos from men wanting me to keep them in chastity that I find myself thinking "even when it's not about your cock, it's all about your cock".

What worries me about long term chastity is that I do occasionally like to have sex with my subs, and the last thing I want is a boy with a hair trigger response."

And I think so often we can be led to believe that implementing something into a dynamic would or could potentially lead to missing out on something that we enjoy, but it doesn't have to be the case.  The thing with chastity and denial is that it is something that the dominant really does have control over, to how it works, to how it fits, to when it takes place.  If she wants to have sex she can do, when she wants, chastity doesn't have to be about long term denial (and as I've mentioned before, that verges for me, to much on the edge of celibacy which is most definitely not what I want!)

But I think, Ms Valentine expressed it very well and as I totally agree with these thoughts I wanted to quote them here . .


"It is the absolute flexibility of sexual control which make sit so suitable to many D/s situations. One can use devices or not. One can require honour chastity. Chastity can be alternated with 'forced' orgasms, ruined orgasms, teasing and denial or any combination of them. I am sure there are things I haven't thought of which can be added to that basic set. One can have PIV sex because even if you like devices, all you have to do is take it off when you want sex.

In fact, chastity and sexual control can be used by any red blooded 'cock loving' dominant women who want to have a fully sexual relationship with a submissive male. Playing with chastity does not stop anything unless the woman herself wants it to be stopped. It is her choice. If she likes vaginal sex, she can have it and many of us certainly do want that. 

It is not unnatural to want a good fuck, no matter what the weird femdom orthodoxy would have us believe about how dominant women should interact with their sub. You know the stuff...no sex but oral, cuckold him with a 'real' man and never have his cock inside you and always strap a bit of plastic to your hips and fuck him saying you are taking your pleasure with him"

And this is something I wholly agree with.

Chastity has a great deal of flexibility to work within any dynamic, to any degree, whether it be dipping the toes in or something a lot more involved and extended.  I for one, love that flexibility that it gives for the control, but also the ways in which control can be given and indeed taken.  

There is so much about it that just works.

Just fits.

Aside from the sexual desires, the impact it can have on behaviour and attention, the changes that it can have upon the chastised and for the Dominant too.  There are many things that could be added, I am sure that many women would be able to add to the list of what it does for them or what is in it for them.

But there is endless things in it for the lady.

It is why I enjoy it and think it can play such a part within an FLR, or at least one for me!

Even though going back over time it was initially something that didn't overly appeal.  We discover, we learn and often just find something that works and is right for us.  We find out why it does and then we wonder why we didn't explore sooner LOL

I know what is in it for me.  I know that there's a whole lot in it for me . . .

And I love it! :)

A perfect sub?

What makes a perfect sub?

This is the question that someone asked me today.

Firstly, I don't think that there is such a thing. The word "perfect" makes it something that isn't achievable. Something which is a fantasy of something that isn't realistically attainable.

Nobody is "perfect", nobody can be perfect and if we set ourselves up with an expectation of finding someone perfect, then we will always fail.

While no-one can be perfect, I do think it is possible for there to be a "right sub".  A sub that is right for a certain type of dynamic, a sub that is right for me and the things that I may look for or seek.

Just as there can be a Dominant that is right for a particular sub and the type of dynamic or relationship that they may seek or need.  Of course it doesn't mean that things will be perfect (nothing ever is!), nor does it mean that being the "right" person will mean that they do not make mistakes.

After all, everyone does.

In a fantasy world, in the backs of our imaginations I guess we could all have our "perfect" other half.  The perfect sub, or the perfect dominant, someone who would do everything and meet every need.  But, it seems so false. Not a reality, but a robotic fantasy of what someone could never ultimately achieve.

If we aim for that, if that is what we strive for, then I believe we are all going to fall short of that y'know? No-one will ever meet the expectations that we may have, because they are wholly unrealistic.  

I think it is important that we don't aim for that perfection, it isn't compromising, it is being realistic.  Even those we think are "perfect" have their flaws. Their weaknesses. Their failings.

We all do.

So, what can make a sub right for an FLR?

I think it is more a case of certain traits, certain characteristics as well as someone who has the same need and desire for an FLR as I do, but from a submissive angle of course.

I know what I am and I am aware that the type of dynamic that I seek is one which is purely a Female Led Relationship.  So, if that is right for me and in turn I am right for it, then there is more than likely a submissive who it is right for and where the FLR dynamic is right for them too.

Makes sense right?

So, when answering this question earlier I tried to explain that while I don't subscribe to the "perfect sub" that I think there are traits, characteristics that would make someone right for me and for the type of relationship that I would seek.

So . . .what is that?  What can make a sub right for an FLR . . .

Well . . .(and these are my thoughts, and I am not suggesting that someone is going to have all of them!) but . . .

A man who is able to serve with consistency but also constancy.  Someone who doesn't just want to submit or serve when they are horny or aroused.  In short my own dominance, my own need for control and to be in that control extends way beyond the bedroom and I need someone who is able to accept that, embrace it  and need it in the same way.  

A man who is capable of submitting in that way, not someone who only wants to submit in the bedroom. I need more. I expect more and I want him too as well.

A man who isn't submitting to get "rewards" and "treats".  The need and the desire to submit must come from the fulfilment that he gets from submitting.

A man who understands the fact that I don't do rewards.  Yes I do treats, I like to treat someone, gift someone, surprise someone, but not as a reward for service.  I want and need someone who is fulfilled from the pleasure that he gives, but whose ultimate needs are met through that serving.  Not someone who will only do something because there is the expectancy that they will be rewarded for doing it.  That isn't submitting to me.

A man who doesn't need to be "forced" to submit, but someone who does so freely, from his choice, from his desire, because it is how he is wired. It is his psyche.

A man whose submitting isn't conditional.  A man who doesn't only submit when his needs, wants, fetishes or kinks are present.  Let me explain ~ I have no problem with a submissive having wants, needs, desires. After all, if those aren't met, the relationship will fail. What doesn't work for me is that if those fetishes aren't present that it prevents him from submitting.  

A man who enjoys life and the interaction with his partner.  I enjoy life, I enjoy the interaction with a partner on many levels, it isn't all about fantasy for me.  It cannot be for him either.

A man who can communicate, who is able to connect on many levels and not just from a sexual viewpoint.  He must be able to interact, to converse, to discuss, to share thoughts, feelings, emotions, with openness, clarity and honesty.

A man who needs to give himself up to the control.  I need to be in control.  For me, it is all about control.  That control isn't always sexual and at times it can be very much removed from being anything sexual.  The right sub for me is someone who needs to have that control over them, but someone who is quite capable of thinking for themselves, able to make decisions and certainly able to when necessary.  

A man who doesn't need to be micromanaged.  Someone who is an adult and a responsible one at that, I don't want a child and I have no wish to treat someone as a child.  So to be right for me they must be a responsible adult, who wants to be treated as such, but more so, will behave as such.

A man who doesn't manipulate. A man who is non-controlling (after all, that's my domain! lol) but who is quite capable of thinking for himself who isn't fearful or scared of taking the initiative to please without always being told what to do.

A man who will uphold all that he offers, freely.  That he is able to submit and demonstrate that he doesn't always need an instruction to do so, simply because he wishes to please and has a desire to do so. 

A man who is fulfilled in bringing pleasure in many ways, to make someone feel special, who is as responsible for his own happiness as he is for my own, but knowing that it will be that way in return.  He must accept responsibility for his submission and understand that he must do all he can to please his Dominant in the ways that she likes to be pleased.

A man who isn't selfish, who is driven by his desire to serve and please and who finds fulfillment in such.

A man who is honest and open minded, but also realises that every dominant is different and that he must approach a relationship with me with an open and refreshed mind. Expecting it to be different from others' approach and to be open to this and embrace it.

A man who is able to give the space for a dominant to discover her power, and to exert it. But a man who is fully aware that it is as much about his contribution as it is from my side and that it comes from both.

A man who will do what he says, who will fulfill the promises that he makes.  Who is able to anticipate needs and take care of them, even before being asked, and who doesn't need to have orders relayed to him 24 hours a day to do every little thing.

A man who realises it is not about dressing up, it isn't about fetish or kink and that it is about a whole. A whole relationship and that he wants and needs that whole. Someone who agrees that a relationship cannot just survive if it is based on those kinks and fetish.

A man who has a need to follow an FLR, one which involves as much in terms of romantic love and attachment as it does being service orientated.  Who wants a reality not something "scene based".

A man who can laugh as much as he can love. A man who can make me smile as much as he can make me feel adored.  A man who is as self aware as he is sensuous. Who is as comfortable in conversation as he is in silence. Who is attentive, dependable, and willing.

A man who is who he says he is.  A man who wants it all. But who wants it because he needs it, needs it in the form of an FLR, because of what he can give to it, not because of what he can get.

So . . .

There is such a thing as someone who is "right". Whether we ultimately find that, who knows.  But it starts with knowing what we want, what we need, being open with that, but open to it.

So no. I don't think there's a "perfect sub". There isn't a perfect anything.  But I do believe so very much that there can be someone who is "right". Someone who is right for a certain type of relationship.

Someone who is right for another.

Happy Birthday to me!

Well, not to me, but to my blog!

Cannot believe that it is a year ago that I started writing this blog.

It isn't my first and it isn't my only.

But it is my first and only written from the perspective that this one is ~ written in relation to my Dominant and sadistic needs and desires and the thoughts, feelings and experiences along the way.

It is the only one that explores in relation to my own needs and desires of a Female Led Relationship, something that over time I have found has become my natural place to be within.

I wish that I actually had more time to blog, more to blog about, I've got so many blogs "underway" and then don't get around to finishing.  My intentions this month of being a part of NaNaWriMo have certainly gone out of the window due to writers block! I mean, I can't even write the things that I want to, let alone find 50,000 words for a novel in 30 days LOL

I actually started this blog around the time that my paths crossed with "the boy" having taken some time out from "blogging" and things in general.  As those who have read will know, things didn't go as hoped for in that way, but it certainly gave me renewed hope that there are people who do genuinely want to live within an FLR and that I am not flogging a dead horse so to speak.

It isn't for everyone of course.  But I know it is for me.  I know that it is the right thing for me and any future relationship.  The past year has made me realise that even more.  

So while I currently write from my own perspective, my thoughts and feelings, needs and wants but not currently within the type of dynamic or relationship that I want, need or seek.  I do so, because I choose to.  Because this is my outlet and I still write of "reflections", of past experiences and then throw the odd "creative writing" and fiction in for good measure too.

We can never know what the time will bring us.  None of us know what the next year will bring, just as no-one could have predicted what would have happened during this past year.  Things may not always go as we would hope, things do not always work out. 

That's life.

But, I know that I am on the right path.  And I hope that in the coming weeks, months or even the years, that my paths will cross with someone who wants and needs the same type of relationship that I do.  They are out there I know, although reading the blogs that I do, it all seems that they are involved in marriages where they cannot even get their female partner to dominate them, to have that FLR or WLM.  

So maybe that is where they all are . . .but maybe, just maybe, lets hope not!

Anyway, a year on, thank you to those who comment, who read and those who "lurk".

It is nice to have you on board :)

Taking it all

I sat on the edge of the bed and you knelt on the floor before me, your head lowered.  If your eyes had been open you would have only seen my naked legs and the floor before you.  You are breathing deeply, slowly.

I bring your face up to look at me, looking deep into your eyes.

I watch you for the longest of moments, I can tell that you have so many thoughts running through your mind.  You're on edge. Nervous. Scared.  I touch your face gently, my finger tracing the outline of your face, your cheeks and chin.

I kiss you gently.

You feel my fingers playing with and running through your hair, it makes you shiver, it makes you relax and pushes you into the deepest of spaces.  Your eyes drop, you lower your head and I lift your chin with my hand bringing your eyes up to meet my own.

I can see the fear in your eyes, the fear mixed with the look which says "I trust you" regardless of how filled with fear that you are.

I smile at you.

Reassuring you that you are in safe hands, gently stoking your cheek as you lean into my hand to gain a swift moment of comfort, your eyes closing slightly as you breath in deeply all of the feelings that come from the slightest of touch. And I feel you relax into my hand, lapping up its touch against your flushed face.

I continue to look into your eyes, not breaking the gaze, undressing you slowly, until you are naked before me.  I am still watching you intently until your eyes break away and look down.  I lift your chin again with a little more force and instruct you to keep it there.  I push my forefinger in between your lips, forcing them apart, your mouth opens for me, like a baby bird receiving the food from its mother. Your tongue gently circling the finger that is in your mouth

I know that you are ready, instructing you to open your mouth wider and to close your eyes.  I see the fear growing deep within them as I push you back a little, then step up and move gently away.  You close your eyes, your mouth is still wide open.  I see you moving your tongue, swallowing trying to wet the dryness of your mouth.

The door opens and he steps forward, walking into the room until he is standing before you.  You feel his cock at your lips and I see you recoil at this unknown and unwanted intrusion, my hand reaches around your head holding you still, making sure that you do not pull away from him, or from me.  I push you forward onto the length of his cock, it slowly glides into your mouth and into the back of your throat.  

You gag, cough and splutter and he withdraws a little so you can catch your breath.  My hand grips your head, reaching into and taking a fistful of your hair.  I push your mouth back down the length of his cock, you close your lips around him, dropping your throat this time to take him further. You gently suck as he pulls back out and we all hear the deep moan that escapes from your throat as I grip your hair more tightly and as you eagerly, hungrily take his cock back into your mouth.  

His cock is hard, thick and throbbing in your mouth,  your own is beginning to harden at the intrusion into your mouth. I can tell from the expression upon your face that you have tasted the precum leaking from his cock, the first time you have tasted anothers.

My hand keeps your head still as he pumps his cock harder and deeper into your mouth.  You are gagging and choking, tears forming at the corner of your eyes and running down your cheeks. I wipe them away with my other hand as he continues to fuck your mouth.  The movement speeding up, you adjust your head to allow his cock further into your throat, lessening the grip your lips have around him, allowing him in, harder and deeper. And he is speeding up. And you are taking it like a whore.  And your cock is aching and you are moaning between the choking, heaving and gagging. And I see the lust within your eyes, the longing, the pleading, and I know that you are here taking this for me, and it goes straight to my cunt.  And I am aching and longing, watching you loving the thing that you're hating, that you're loving it and taking it just for me.

And I encourage you gently, the cock whore that you are. And your eyes are glazed, glazed with desire and lust and longing.  And he is fucking your mouth and your throat and I am pushing your head further down onto him, his balls banging against your chin. 

And just when you think you're going to choke to death, you feel the warmth of his cum shoot down the back of your throat and you are gagging fiercely at the shock of the liquid.  

"Swallow it all" I whisper in your ear. "Swallow it all like the cock hungry whore that you are!" and you are milking him with your mouth, devouring him, taking him and his load into your mouth and down your throat.

And he pulls out from your mouth, your eyes moving up to meet my own, I look at you and smile, leaning forward I whisper gently in your ear "There's a good boy" and a smile spreads over your face as he pushes his cock back into your mouth as you're told to clean him up properly.  Sucking out every last drop.

"You enjoyed that didn't you?" I ask.

You nod, slowly.

Your face reddening from the humiliation that you're feeling at having sucked another mans cock.  Ashamed that you took him in your mouth, sucking him, milking him with your mouth, ashamed that your own hard cock betrayed the desire that you felt about something that you recoiled for only a moment before.

He steps back away from you and I stand before you, raising your chin up with my hand once more.  I look into your eyes, conveying how pleased I am with what you have just done for me, what you have taken for me.

"I . . .I.  ..thank you, for allowing me to be your whore" you manage to whisper.

I smile.

"Is there something else that I may do for you?" you ask smiling back.

"Maybe JoJo.Maybe"

Keep it to yourself!

So. 

You like my writing.

I appreciate that.

Truly. I do.

And seeing as it seems to be "love our lurkers" day in blogland, I just want to say that yes, I love my lurkers! I love my commenters too.

I appreciate the fact that people have taken the time to read things that I have written, that they then take the time to comment on it also.

I appreciate the feedback that people make in terms of what they have read, in that it may be something they relate to, or that they have simply enjoyed reading.  Or that it has made them think or look at things differently.  It is always nice to know that people have related.

All of that is great.

I love getting the feedback here on the blog, it is why I have the "comments" facility enabled, and while I know not everyone wants to post here, I appreciate the emails and memo's that they send me elsewhere instead.

And I am not complaining or moaning about any of you LOL 

But you know what?

I really DO NOT need to know that it made you "get off" or that it excited you so much you had to wank your tiny little cock!

Firstly, wanking or what someone does to their tiny little cock holds absolutely NO interest for me.  But you know what, it isn't information or feedback that anyone really wants to know or hear about. 

I know that I don't!

I don't care. No, really I don't!

It doesn't interest me.

It isn't going to draw me to you or make me enter into any further conversation with you. So please, just keep those sort of things to yourself! 

It isn't going to get you anywhere. It most certainly isn't going to get you anything, even if you say to me "I'd really like you to do that to me" or "when will you do that to me" (and if you have any sense about you, you'll realise that such comments will mean you're as far away from getting that as you could ever be!)

It isn't going to happen.

No. Honestly.

It isn't!

Silent Movie.

We sat there. 

In silence.  

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he stared forward at the screen and the movie that I had allowed him to choose (and one that he had so wanted to see!)

I was bored. Restless. 

Not interested in the film playing out before me.  

He stared intently. Engrossed. Lost in the storyline.  He remained silent, even when my hand started wandering over the top of his thigh. The tip of my long, neatly french manicured nail drawing patterns through the material of his trousers, almost making contact with his skin.  

I felt him shiver.

I heard the change in his breathing.

I felt the straining of his trousers as his body reacted to my touch.

The guy next to him looked down at my hand wandering over his leg.  Watching the patterns I was making, watching the teasing of my fingers brushing gently over the top of his restrained cock. 

He looked up at me. Smiled. 

You continued to look straight ahead at the movie. I smiled back.

For all intent and purposes, it could have been a silent movie for all I cared.  I was more interested in teasing you as you sat next to me, seeing how long it would take for me to break your gaze from the screen, seeing how long it would take for you to shift uncomfortably at your body's reactions.

I didn't stop.

Not even knowing that the man next to you was aware of what I was doing.  In fact, it made me want to tease you all the more.  I was watching you. Watching him at the same time.

You didn't say a word or make a noise when I slowly undid the zip of the trousers you were wearing, or even when I slipped my hand inside, finding an aroused and hardened cock, twitching, throbbing, begging to be played with.

I intentionally continued despite the pair of eyes next to you watching.  I didn't hide what I was doing. I didn't pick up your jacket from the floor to place over your lap.  I didn't want to hide.  I didn't want to pretend.

I wanted to play.

Freely. No distractions.

Nothing getting in my way or preventing me from doing what I wanted to be doing right then.

No distraction. No barriers. No subtlety.

I didn't want to be subtle. I wanted to do what I wanted to do.

I leant over towards you, whispering in your ear that the guy next to you was watching, that he was jealous that your cock was hard in my hands.  I could feel the heat from your face, your cock twitching in my hand in reaction to the humiliation of knowing that you were being played with, but being watched by some unknown stranger.

I began to play with you more forcefully. My fingers and hands maintaining a strong grip, my fingers finding their way around your cock as they moved the foreskin back and forth, the first drops of precum finding their way to my fingers. I pulled them out, placing them to your mouth as you sucked.

He was watching.  He smiled.

I smiled at him again.  You continued to stare straight ahead.  I could feel your pulse racing. Your heart beating a million beats a minute.  Your face flushed.

You still didn't make a sound.

But began to close your eyes and lose the focus on your film the harder that I teased you.  I could feel your body tensing up beneath my grasp, forcing yourself up into my hands, trying to move to a place where you needed or wanted me to touch you.

And you leant back into the chair and I knew that I had you.  I knew that you were close.  I whispered into your ear that he was still watching you. That I wanted you to keep your eyes open and watch what I was doing, what was happening around you.

And he was watching you. Watching you becoming hard in my hand.  Watching you as you moved to enable me the access that I demanded.  Watching you as in silence you came.

Just like a silent movie.