06 March 2011

When the fantasy becomes a reality . . .

"Walking away from everything" ~ how apt.
 My last blog entry HERE  is about my thoughts in terms of acceptance within an FLR that the fantasy of the male submissive is often very different to that of the female, but also often very different to the reality.

And this leads on from there in some respects, in that one thing that I am  no longer amazed or surprised at, is just how easy it is (for some) to run in the other direction at the first sign that the reality isn't like their fantasy. 

That when the reality is being truly felt, when it is not fantasy but a reality that it seems all too easy for the person to say "it's not for me". 

Life has issues.

It does for everyone. 

But if you are able to truly embrace the FLR, if you're able to be truly open and forthcoming in those issues or problems, with the one you are with, the dynamic is established in such a way where it can lift the pressure that may be apparent, that it can help when things are tough.  It can only do that if you allow it to, if you let it, if you're open to it.

Of course it won't do that if things aren't shared, if things are kept hidden or if a silence covers everything. 

It isn't just this way in FLRs.  It is the same as any relationship, regardless of whether it is vanilla, FLR or D/s, if you are open, if you share things, you can work through these things together in the "partnership" that exists.  You have the ability to have someone help you through, a neutral form of help, of guidance from someone who is there and wants the best for you.

Of course the reality is often different from reality, I've never pretended otherwise. 

But, what I have always said is important is for the openness and transparency which allows the dynamic but more so the relationship to grow, so that it can deal with any issues that may come along, whether it be health, personal, financial or any other issue, there is a way to work through it, with positivity and more so with guidance,  extra help and support to work through whatever may be occuring. 

However, for some, it is just easier to say "I can't do this" and head off in the other direction, and for the head to be buried in the sand, when the reality is, it isn't the dynamic that is causing the issues, it isn't the dynamic which is making life difficult, instead it could or can be the dynamic which can give you the positivity to resolve issues, to work through things, to have a positive outcome in the future.

There were times that I did ask the boy about whether the fantasy was what he wanted as his reality and I gave him (albeit foolishly in hindsight) the benefit of the doubt when he said that it was, when he said that it was what he wanted.  I gave the trust in his words and the commitment of them.  It leaves the declaration of "feelings" and "friendship" all so very empty, all so very meaningless.

I am not upset nor angry. 

Disappointed? Yes perhaps.  

I may wish that I had listened to the doubts, but life is an onward journey. 

I know the path I am walking. 

But as of now, the path for myself and "the boy" is a separate one.

Life is a journey. I know what I want. That hasn't ever changed.  I know what my reality is.

The reality didn't meet the fantasy. For him.

The boy.

Is no longer the boy. 

I wish him well.