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21 December 2011

My response VI - fantasies of femdom porn

Dear femdom_porn_fantasist

I do not live my life as if I am appearing in some Femdom porno film!

And I am not quite sure what leads you to think that all dominant women are of that ilk, that we are just this group of women who cannot wait to do things to a guy, such as yourself or that we are here to make a guy endure whatever.

Porn is porn.

It is an industry run by men and for men and in the main, is there to cater to the fantasies of men.

As such these movies give an incredibly false representation because he is the centre of attention and she is focusing every bit of her attention on him, which is quite far removed from the dynamic of D/s or an FLR.

The concept that D/s or an FLR (or whatever "term" you wish to use to describe such a dynamic) is all about what a woman does to a man is a very prevalent belief, but is also a misconception.  

It is this imagery that leads so many submissive men, like yourself, to have this idea that Dominant females are here to meet every want, need or desire that you may have and the belief that this is what D/s or FLRs are about.

It isn't. Not by a long shot.

Instead these images in turn makes it very hard work for dominant women like myself who do not live their life like a porno movie to get this across.  It creates a barrier that we have to get through to show that those images, those porn films are not the reality, that yes they may depict women having fun, enjoying what they are doing, but it doesn't reflect the dynamic as to how it can be lived.  

The porn industry, particular in relation to Femdom porn has a lot to answer for, of how it shows what us dominant females should be doing, should be wearing or how we conduct ourselves.  It is so far from how many dominant women are, of how the dynamic or relationships work.

Instead, the relationship is one which has a dynamic where there is a power imbalance, it is not defined by those images from porn which suggests the dynamic is there to meet his desires or wants.  However, it is defined, in my opinion as a dynamic where his desire to serve, matches her desire to be served, but more so of the commitment that each makes to the relationship but which simply reflects within it, the shift of power, the shifting of the control over to her hands.

The desires or wants that I may have, are ones that are served by the FLR dynamic, where his desires and the needs or wants that he may show, are fulfilled in that dynamic because of his desire to serve and please his dominant ~ that is serving.

If I however choose to pick at certain desires, to fulfil certain needs, that is my choice as to how and when it may happen. It isn't defined by the dynamic and neither is it required by the dynamic in place.  But neither is the imagery that you have gained from watching so many misconceived ideas is it possible to live the life reflected in such false and fake situations that is depicted in so many areas of Femdom porn.

So, I do not feature in femdom porn. I do not live my life like I am in a porno movie, and as such, I have no desire to live out any porno fuelled fantasies that you may have.

It isn't my reality.  It never will be.

Good luck.




















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