22 December 2011

restrain desires

Those who restrain their desires do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.

William Blake

I was reading a blog recently.

Another one about a situation of a male wanting a WLM and the wife not "playing ball".  One where he has tried for over four years of their marriage to get her to take control.  And now finally, he has the realisation that it just isn't going to happen.

In many ways, the frustration but also the sadness of the writer is clear to see from the words that fill the screen.

And yet, it is also such a shame because as I said to him, there are indeed very few males who genuinely want the things that he wants and that it isn't easy from my own perspective as a Dominant female, in finding a male who really wants to live their lives that way.

It seems that so many are within the relationship that they "settled" for, one which they hoped they would be able to manipulate and change to have their submissive needs met.  Except, they forgot to remember that really, while some may be dominant, they do not have the need or the desire to dominate.

One of the comments on this guys blog from a "dominant female" saying how this blog proves what she says all over online as being right.  I mean, the poor guy is struggling with the reality of what may not be for him, and here she is "gloating". 

People like that, really get up my nose!

Who gives a shit what she has written anywhere?

Who is she that needs to be proved right or wrong anyway?

And why choose to do it on a place where this blogger is coming to a pretty harsh and stark reality that his wife will not dominate, and that he will not be able to have the WLM that he so longs for and craves.

I mean, FFS woman!

Bring your head out of your own ass!

It isn't something proving "you" right.  It is a situation that is seen time and time again.  It's not rocket science is it.  So, you've said something out there in oblivion and this is another one to prove your "theory". 

Well lady, it's not your theory is it.

It is a reality for many.

So get over yourself love!

Anyway . . .rant over.

Aside from this most pathetic comment that really I don't know why she bothered to rub the poor guys nose in it . . .someone else had commented about accepting not being able to have what we want and that we should just put up with it.

But should we?


Or is it because that person can say that, can put up with whatever their lot in life maybe because their desires can be restrained. That the reality is, their desires for the things that they want or need in life aren't that strong. That they can accept what little bit they do get, because ultimately that matches the level of desire that they have.

There will always be compromises in whatever type of relationship or dynamic it is.  Whether it be "vanilla" through to D/s or FLR.  Compromise is something that we all have to do, whether we be dominant, submissive or on anywhere on the scale inbetween.  Life isn't perfect.  We aren't going to find a relationship which gives us 100% of what we want or need.

But we can make a decision to follow a path, we can make a decision to at least make changes to have those things that we want . . .maybe if he had been honest at the beginning of his relationship with his then wife to b back then, it would have been a lot different . . .saved many years of trying to "push" her into dominating him. Saved him many years of frustration and heartache and not being able to be the person that he is, or wants to be.  And saved him the situation  of now deciding whether what he is faced with having in terms of his marriage and life, is going to be enough.

A situation of deciding whether his desires can be restrained.  I wonder if they are weak enough.

I know for me that they aren't.

I know that my desires for the things that I hope for, need are incredibly strong, and as such, would still prefer to not even begin to walk down a path that could ultimately not give that.

My own desires cannot be restrained.  My own desires are not weak enough to be restrained.  And as far as I am concerned, I have no desire to restrain them anyway.  

Life is far too short!

No comments:

Post a Comment