30 December 2011

Once Loved. Once knew.

"Strange how someone you once loved can become just another person you once knew."

 Nicki Minaj

The end of another year.

A year which for me, saw a final goodbye of someone who had been such a part of my life for so long, even if from a distance at times.

They were someone I once loved.

Someone I loved in a way that I had not before.

Someone I loved because of things that we had shared, in many ways, and in ways not shared with another.  I know that they will be things that will not be shared again, not with them or indeed with anyone else.

But, while they were someone I once loved, they have in many ways, through the separation of time, become just another person I once knew. 

I didn't think at the turning of this current year that it would witness this.  I didn't think that the words that came from their mouth ever would.

The thing is, they have before.

I know first hand the depth of the darkest places they go to and when lost in that darkness that the only thing they know what to do is to lash out at those closest to them.  Except, this lashing out, has led to the separation in distance and time.  Their decision. Their choice.

I think, even though someone can become someone we once knew, that the feelings that were once felt, will always be felt.  That we will always carry them with us, even if in the recess of our thoughts and memories, that just because someone isn't with us any more, that they are not a part of our lives, we do not simply just forget. It doesn't mean that we no longer care.  It doesn't mean that we do not remember or that we just stop feeling.

We just remember differently.

We just feel differently.

But, for them. For him.  He was someone I once loved. Through his actions and his choice, he is becoming only someone I once knew.

Although I know the passing of time will never take away what was our reality, it may make us strangers.  The passing of time and the growing distance will never take away the fact that they were someone I once loved.

Whether they were once loved. Or whether they are becoming only someone once known.

Nothing can take away the reality of what was.

1 comment:

  1. We become who we are through interactions with other people. The theme of this blog entry is who you have become because of the relationship you had. You are experiencing what you are going through (back then) thanks (that is the word i would choose to use) to him. You will be influenced by this in your next relationship/s. Your relationships become part of your persona and you grow with them, you grow when you are able to move forward. There ios a time for sadness, for grieving, but life move forward and doesn't wait for anyone. You are no longer together because you are not meant to be, he is meant to be with someone else (no longer your concern) and you are meant to be with someone else (your concern). pablo