14 March 2012

A little bit of effort . . .

The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - and never knowing." David Viscott

Except you will not know. Because even though you could have tried, these things take effort.  And a little bit of effort goes an awful long way.  A promise of so much, but a real failing at standing up to fulfil those promises.

I may be dominant, it doesn't mean that I have to or am responsible for doing everything, it doesn't mean that you don't have to put anything in.  It doesn't mean that everything comes from me, from my side.

It doesn't.

It has to come from you too.  You have to be willing to put that effort in.  Because if you don't, if you can't put in any effort, why should I put anything in, in return?  This is what I mean when I say that the only imbalance within the relationship comes from the power exchange, everything else is equal!

Unless you are willing to put in that effort, then the things that you want will not materialise, they will not become a reality, which is a shame, because the reality is they could not only materialise, but be oh so much more.

But I want. No, I need someone who will show me with actions and not just empty words, someone who can show that they value me, that they are willing to make as much of a commitment to me as I am to them. 

And that comes from making an effort.

You may say "I really want us to be . . ." but then your actions (or lack of them) certainly do not show that . . .words.

Words are empty, the actions take effort but that is when it becomes all too clear whether you are willing to put in that effort, or whether you hide behind the words.

As Sophocles said "success is dependent on effort" and unless you are willing to put in the effort,then you certainly won't succeed. 

I can't put that effort in for you.

And I won't.

I am not going to force you or anyone to put in the effort either.  Because if you aren't willing, if you don't or can't or won't put in that effort, willingly, wantingly, that says more to me than anything.

Effort doesn't have to be a huge show, it doesn't come from grand gestures, it can come in the simplest of ways, a little message, a gentle touch, a thoughtful gesture.  And if you can't even put the effort in with that . . .then that success will never come.

Effort shows so much.  But effort allows everything that you want, or need to become a reality,  but it has to come from you, from within.  No-one else can be your "effort".

I certainly cannot be. 

I certainly won't be.

Nor will I ever be.

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