23 July 2012

More balanced? Whatever . . . .

I follow a blog called "worshipping your wife" HERE  and they have recently handed over their blog to some guest columnists, (and I will continue to follow with a renewed interest) but it is now in the hands of "Nancy and Dennis" a couple who actively live an FLR marriage and are activists in promoting such a dynamic.

This is, in some ways for me,  a relationship that is just bliss ~ a reflection of FLRs, what they are and how they work.  And reading their first introductory post here it expresses so much of how it is. I found myself nodding at their dynamic, of how it is set up and how it works for them.

I don't know if I share their feelings in relation to the term "progressive" because I don't ultimately feel that would reflect my own dynamic, I think FLR covers that quite perfectly, but I shall most certainly be following this blog with a renewed interest.

If FLR's are for you, or if you're considering, thinking or already following an FLR, it is certainly a most interesting blog to check out!

Anyway . . .time for the rant . . . !!!

One thing that did annoy me tho and it isn't the first time, it most certainly won't be the last,  was an anonymous comment from someone who fine, fair enough, doesn't follow or want an FLR, but someone who chooses to state that his relationship, because he is in control and is the "big strong man" who leads the household, that his relationship is more balanced than how Nancy and Dennis describe their FLR.

Who is this anonymous person to say his relationship, his dynamic is more balanced??  Fuck me!

Who is anyone to say that their relationship is more balanced/better/greater/stronger/ *enter any thing you want to here* than anyone else's??

It really does get right up my nose when people start making these statements.  It is like those who say that D/s relationships are deeper/stronger/have a stronger bond compared to other relationships. Or that when a D/s relationship ends, its harder to cope with.


It isn't.

These relationships are as they are.  They follow different dynamics, but it doesn't make one stronger, or better. It doesn't make people in one type of relationship better than the other, more balanced than the other.  Why do people feel drawn to saying that their relationship or lifestyle choices are better than anyone elses?

This anonymous commenter, says that the lifestyle choice of an FLR
"sounds like a form of torture to me"
and fine, yes maybe for you it is. And that is fine.  It maybe great that his wife loves her
"big strong man to lean on",
but my god, that to me suggests that a woman being in control does so over a "weak" man, and that because a man chooses to defer to a woman strips him of his strength, and that the woman neither has someone to lean on, or couldn't lean on her man!


Absolute bullshit! 

He goes on to say
"It feels great using my wit, intelligence and understanding to lead our house and my wife revels in it also."
Great.  And I mean it.  It is great that he feels as he does and his wife revels in it.  But people in FLR's, men in FLRs aren't stripped of their wite, their intelligence, just because they do not lead the household doesn't make them lose anything. But neither does it, Mr Anon, make your relationship more "balanced" than anyone elses.

It doesn't make yours anymore "anything" over anyone elses!  Just because you choose to follow a certain way of living Mr Anon really doesn't make your way better, more stable, stronger, or more balanced.

It just means it is right for you.  Just as the way other people live is right for them. 

Mr Anon goes on to say;
"Only i say our relationship is more balanced than how you describe yours. Anyway good luck with your own marriage, respect others and be happy."

I think it is you, Mr Anon that needs to respect others. Respect others choices.  And accept that just because you live your life one way, doesn't make it better than anyone elses. Who is to say yours is more balanced?

It isn't.

So a big bowl of FUCK YOU!

*rant over* LOL


  1. Perhaps he is fearful. Fearful because he anticipates or already knows that such a lopsidedness in male leadership is indubitably being bridged by more and more resolute women. Sounds like to me he is clinging onto his ideals because is afraid to lose them in the face of adversity. Relax buddy. lol. There will be plenty of opporunity for male leadership still. Or will there? :P

  2. Two things:

    1) You just have to wonder why the big strong, lean-to man is reading these kind of blogs to begin with, and

    2) My marriage is more balance than yours (wink, wink I just loved the rant)