Reflections and writings of a Dominant woman, on control and on power exchange, on the depths of D/s and the dynamics of Female Led Relationships, on ownership and possession, on pain and on love, on chastity and denial, on feelings and on thoughts, on life and loss, fantasies and desires, wants and wishes, longings and needs. On sadistic feelings and on seductive visions. On life.
Frustration def: (psychology) The experience of nonfulfillment of some wish or need.
I think, that definition very simply describes the boy and his feelings right now.
He IS frustrated.
He has been, he is and will continue to experience the nonfulfillment of some wish or need and that frustration for him is what is coming from my denial of him and his being in chastity.
However much he may need or beg for release, no matter how much he may wish he could touch, he can't. I would certainly say that the denial particularly of last night was very much a nonfulfillment of some wish or need . . .and it is indeed very clear, why his levels of frustration are as high as they are. Even if he doesn't mean to, the level of frustration comes out from his voice, from his breathing, from the various different types of sigh that he makes.
At times, he sounds like a little boy who has been told "no" over something simple like not having some toy or something that he has wanted. It is quite possible to pick up this just by hearing his reaction.
My reaction? I laugh.
His frustration and the extremes to which he feels it, makes me laugh and I do so openly.
He said how openly dismissive I am of his frustration, of his need.
I know that I am.
But, his frustration is understandable.
It doesn't mean I care that he is frustrated, in fact, I don't.
I actually love the fact he is as frustrated as he is. I like the fact that I can make him more frustrated and even though like last night he may moan and complain about that frustration the boy also learnt that moaning and complaining doesn't mean his frustrations will be eased. In fact, I think that last night, the boy quite quickly learned that I will make it far worse for him, and take the levels of frustration that he feels to another level!
And I did.
The boy can tell me he has been denied for 8 weeks and that during that time he has only been granted 1 orgasm. As I expressed to him, he is a lucky boy to have been granted that and I must have had a generous day to have allowed him that release.
Do I care?
Denying him, frustrating him, hearing his frustrations and the struggles that he has only makes me want to frustrate him even more!!! And the more he is frustrated and the more that comes across, the more I want to do it even more!
He says I am cruel.
He says I am a Bitch.
He is, probably right.
But while he may feel such levels of frustration, he knows that it is only the beginning, that this is just the start, and he also knows that I do not care, and that I do not give in to whining and whinging and that complaining, begging or screaming in frustration, doesn't get him what he wants either.
The boy has I am sure learned, that he will not get what he wants. Instead he will get what I want, when I want it. That isn't controlled by his levels of frustration or how much he begs, it is controlled by me.
And that, the boy is learning is the foundation of everything I am and everything I do.