Out of the comfort zone...

I've never been much of a "scene" person. 

Munches hold little interest for me or to me. 

Clubs - I haven't really found them to be my "thing" either, I've been to a couple in the dim and distant past, but certainly as a "bystander" rather than a participant.

And I know that is just how it was then . . .but who is to say it is that way now?

I wanted to go to a rope workshop this week, but with everything else that happened last week I couldn't quite bring myself to go, even though I've always had a lurking interest in learning how to fling string.  I feel disappointed that I didn't just put myself there regardless of how I was feeling about going.

I would say that I'm more introvert than extrovert, I'm comfortable in that way and that works for me, I don't particularly care what people think of that, it's just how it is.  But life can pass by.  And I think that is how I am feeling right now.

Some recent events have made me really question myself, where I am, but more so what it is that I ultimately want and need from life.

This past week or so has really made me start evaluating, reflecting, and while it's also closed the heart off considerably, while it's put a wariness of trusting back in the forefront, it's also made me take a step back, reflect and see what I'm missing out on but also what I can do to change that.  Ultimately though, that can only come from one person - me! 

A short space of time has passed but various events within it has made me feel so much anger towards myself and the trust I'd put out there, it's made me feel all sorts of things that I really wish I didn't feel.  Other events have made me realise that life can be incredibly short, and that the loss of my friend as I wrote *here* has made me determined to make some more positive changes, to take some positive steps and that is what I am intending to do.

I'm going to step out of my comfort zone that is often far too comfortable for our own good, I'm going to step out of that zone and experience things that I may not have done before.  New things, different things, and yes I know that some things may make me feel uncomfortable, but as they say great things never come from comfort zones.

it's time to step out there, and it's time for some great things!  I'm going to venture to some clubs, I'm going to venture to some workshops.  I've got some great friends who share this lifestyle, it's time to reconnect until I hopefully am able to truly connect in the way that I want to - with one.