09 January 2015

Balance rather than equality.

"Some people have confused equality with symmetry, making the assumption that everyone should have the same thing…. Sometimes setting the same rules for both partners simply doesn’t make sense because you are different people who want different things.
In attempting to give each person equality you could lose sight of what each person actually wants.
Work to achieve balance rather than equality." — Tristan Taormino
That's it.
A somewhat simplistic way of looking at why an FLR works, of how a dynamic, a relationship of D/s, or a TPE "fits".  But as simplistic as it may be, it reflects , for me, so much of how it is.
We are not the same. We do not have the same needs, rules that work for one, do not work for another.  I have that need for control, and I need to be with someone who wants to give that control up.  He needs things in the opposite way than I do.  It isn't equal in terms of the power exchange, or in terms of how it works and yet it is so very balanced.
And this is why, for me, an FLR with a power exchange works.
It isn't about equality.  I don't think or look at my partner, as lower than me.  I do not consider them inferior or myself superior.  I don't. At all. 
We are equals.
But it is in the depth of the power exchange where that inequality exists, and yet, it is that inequality, which achieves the balance.  Fulfilling both in the way it is needed. 
It isn't unequal, it is just balanced differently.  And this is what makes it work. 
That is why I love it.  That is why I need it.