25 January 2011

The boys ongoing denial

I don't normally like "cartoon" pictures, but couldn't find one I liked which really fitted this blog . . .however, this cartoon . . .is VERY apt in terms of the boy, his chastity and my denial of him! LOL

I know when he and I first talked about it, he would have no idea that his extended denial would be to the extent that it is, that it has been, that it will continue to be so!

But the boy and I were chatting the other day and he said that he had meant to mention something that I had written in my blog here regarding my denial of him,

"What about it?"

"Where you said you don't know how long the boy has been denied for Mistress"

"Well, I don't"

"The boy knows you can be dismissive, but do you not know how long you keep him in denial for Mistress?"


"Do I count? Nope.
"Do I know how long you've not touched for? Nope."
"Do I know how long it is since you had an orgasm, ruined or otherwise? Nope"

"And you don't care either do you Mistress, as in the denial you hold of him Mistress?"


And I don't. Count.

The boy mentioned it again last night, about my not knowing or counting.  I wonder if he mentions it in the hope that I may feel sorry for him and allow him a little touch.  Will I feel sorry for him? Highly unlikely.  Will it make me give in and allow him to touch, to edge, to orgasm? No, in fact its likely to have the opposite effect and make me deny him for longer! The boy has learned not to ask for such, he also knows that if he is given permission to, that he still has to ask permission to cum. 

He asked me last night if I knew how long I was going to deny him for this time.

"I have no idea" was my response. 

Because I don't.

And most of the time in all honesty, I don't actually even think about his denial.  That isn't because I do not care (as per my previous blog entry HERE about being indifferent), but just the way it is. 

But the boy also knows and is learning, exactly what comes from his denial, the place that it has within a D/s relationship, even the place it has and will have in an FLR.  As the boy commented himself the other night, it makes him feel submissive, it gives him butterflies.  It arouses him.  Yes it makes him frustrated, adds to the frustration that is a natural part of chastity and denial, but it also arouses him that I treat him in this way, the fact that I do not count, do not care.

I know being denied something that you've always had the ability to do as and when you want is not easy.  It is even harder in the fact that he does not wear a device.  I know that being denied isn't easy, and that the frustration builds up.  I like the boy frustrated. I like the focus chastity and denial brings. And I want that focus from the boy.  But, the boy is also realising just how he can truly feel the depths of his submissive self and that chastity and denial is a part of that, that it does have a place. 

In my relationships, it always will.

The boy counts. He often mentions it in his blog. 

Not that I take a lot of notice of the figures or the numbers or the days.

I don't.

I just deny him. End of.

No comments:

Post a Comment