06 July 2011

I lost you.

"It" affected us both.

"It" infected us both.

And because of "it" we have ended up walking a path that no longer runs parallel.

A path that no longer crosses or meets and yet, it does not seem right that we walk along such separate and distant paths; walking (although I know that you are stumbling along) and that you are lost, licking the wounds that the infection has entered into so deeply.

I know that you walk away, in silence and in solitude. But to do so was your choice.

It wasn't what I wanted for us, for you or for me.  I always said I would be your friend . . .no matter what.

I miss you more than you know.

We shared so much, you and I. It is hard at times to know that we no longer share any of what was. I know as I walk along the path without you, I remember the good times.  

I look and remember fondly on all that was, even when what "was" was at times, endured.  I always said I would be your friend, that I would always endure anything for you. 

I miss you more than you know.

I have no idea what you remember as you flounder along the path, unsure of the direction or where you are heading, and not knowing which way to turn now that you choose to walk it alone.  You don't need to be walking it as a solitary person, alone . . .lost.

I know so much was lost.
I know that I lost you.
But I also know you have lost yourself. 

But that in losing you, but also in trying to find. . .I came so close to losing myself.  I miss you more than you know.


  1. i'm sorry You are hurting. But i do not think that he is gone completely...we always give a little bit of ourselves to one another, and he still carries You with him just as You with he. Even then, it's still tough. :(

  2. It isn't so much hurting as concern for someone who was such a good friend, someone I know who is struggling, who is lost, and who I hope will find a way . . .it is frustration at not being able to be on that same path, to help them in finding that way. But yes, it is tough. But then being friends, is never easy.

    Thanks Her toy for your message.