A man who understands the fact that I don't do rewards. Yes I do treats, I like to treat someone, gift someone, surprise someone, but not as a reward for service. I want and need someone who is fulfilled from the pleasure that he gives, but whose ultimate needs are met through that serving. Not someone who will only do something because there is the expectancy that they will be rewarded for doing it. That isn't submitting to me.
A man who doesn't need to be "forced" to submit, but someone who does so freely, from his choice, from his desire, because it is how he is wired. It is his psyche.
A man who can laugh as much as he can love. A man who can make me smile as much as he can make me feel adored. A man who is as self aware as he is sensuous. Who is as comfortable in conversation as he is in silence. Who is attentive, dependable, and willing.
A man who is who he says he is. A man who wants it all. But who wants it because he needs it, needs it in the form of an FLR, because of what he can give to it, not because of what he can get.
There is such a thing as someone who is "right". Whether we ultimately find that, who knows. But it starts with knowing what we want, what we need, being open with that, but open to it.