04 January 2012

Woman first of all . . .

“It’s all right for a woman to be, above all, human. I am a woman first of all” ~Anais Nin

Why is it, that some people  fail to see that before anything else, before being Dominant, before being anything I am a woman? That I am me?

Some days its as if I am not allowed to even be human, much less a woman.

It seems that some people fail to see past what we may be, to see the who we really are.  That they have some idea (or more so fantasy) about a female dominant and that it doesn't get past the leather, whips and strap on!

It is draining. It is tiresome. It seems never ending at times!

It is as if, in being dominant, I am not allowed to be, to have or to go through anything else that a woman of my age should.  That I shouldn't have natural longings or desires, that I shouldn't for some reason desire other things such as friendship, companionship, love.  It is as if because I am dominant I am not allowed to do or experience many things.

Some time ago, in a passing conversation, I mentioned that I was having a "broody" moment.  Now, you'd think that I'd just dropped a huge bomb! As the shock set in. "Broody moment . . . . . ?"  Followed by a long silence.


Am I, just because I am a dominant female, not allowed or supposed to experience a "broody moment"?

Does it mean that because I am dominant that it switches off the natural biological clock or the natural desires that come to many (and not all!) women.  Does it mean that because I am a dominant female that I suddenly lose all feelings, thoughts, experiences, desires that any other female may have?

It seems that some cannot get past the dominant part. Let alone to see the human, or even the woman or more importantly "me".

There really is no hope if they cannot get past the dominant fantasy that fills their mind, that limits their vision.  Yes I maybe dominant, but it isn't all that I am.  And shouldn't we be seen for all that we are, not for what some "fantasy" creates or suggests? 

Yes I am dominant.  I am many other things too.

But first and foremost I am me.


  1. Kat,

    My husband is like this at times. He cannot get past the vision that because I am dominant that I should have a desire to dominate. I don't.

    Sometimes I think he forgets that I am a woman. That I am me too. I do not know if it is a gender thing or whether it is something related to the kink/sexual desires. But at least I know it is not just him.

    Sincerely, SaraLee

  2. Yes you are you. Just as a submissive guy is not just submissive, i am also a guy.