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28 December 2010

Close to the edge.

I LOVE limits. 

I love how people have them and how those limits change with a deepening mindset.  That as the need to submit grows, the need to please comes above and beyond so many things, that those limits that were once limits, or things which someone would never thought they would do, get pushed and happen.

This has been the case with the boy.  The boy commented how it maybe difficult over Christmas time due to the reduced amount of contact we would have, both of us spending the holidays with are respective families, knowing that we would be limited to text contact or an occasional chat on the phone.

We had talked about the levels of control that I am taking, and that day by day that level goes higher and higher.  The boy often talks about how he is addicted to being controlled in this way, addicted to his Mistress and the way in which I push him, frustrate him.  But I also know how difficult it can be when you crave that contact and it isn't there, and how hard it can be to then keep focus or to always feel that ownership.

I wanted the boy, regardless of where we were over the Christmas period to remember exactly what he is, to remember exactly who has control of him, his body, his actions.

I wanted him to have something that would serve as a reminder, that even if we didn't have contact, that I was there, that I was still controlling him.

When the boy packed to go away I told him to take the hold up stockings I had him purchase just before Christmas and some pegs.  No intention to use the pegs particularly unless he pissed me off. But full intentions of using the stockings and making him wear them. (The boy later commented on returning home that he could see now that the pegs had simply been a mind fuck!) *grins*


I knew, that this would be a limit for the boy, wearing his stockings while with his family. That even though he had worn them out while shopping that wearing them while with his family would put him through a whole range of emotions and feelings. Fear, humiliation, the not knowing if people would notice. 

Especially when he had said that while wearing them to the shop his mind was playing games telling him that they were falling down. And that he had to keep checking.  He had to keep checking on Christmas Day to and this all helped to serve as a reminder to the boy.  Just as planned. Just as I had hoped and intended.


To be honest, there was a part of me that knew the boy would do as he was told.  The ever growing need to submit and please, his level of subservience becomes clearer by the day, but there was also a part of me that knew I was on the edge of a limit for him and I did wonder if he would say "I cannot do it".

I casually mentioned in a text that he was to wear them for the day.

During the day, the boy sent me a photograph of him wearing the stockings.

He wrote his own thoughts and feelings about having to wear them in this blog HERE and when we talked on the phone on the evening of Christmas Day, I knew that it hadn't been an easy thing to do, that it really had been a limit the boy had pushed.

I was pleased with the boy.  Pleased with what he had done because he had wanted to please me.  How can anyone not be? How can anyone not love that response to an instruction? How can anyone not love having that control over someone?

I do and I do love it.

It was clear at that moment that the boys need to submit and please has reached a level where it goes above and beyond many things, and that is something incredibly wonderful. And it did show to me the depths of the boys submission, the level of control that exists to this point and just how much I will be able to push the boy.

The boy however, was expecting a reward that evening, of being given permission to touch my cock or to edge for being such a good boy.  One thing the boy will learn is that making hints at me, will not work.  Making suggestions or "demands" however subtle will not work.  That I will decide the rewards he receives, that it may not even for him seem a reward at all.

The boy will learn my indifference.

But the boy will learn just how his actions please me and in the ways that they please me. But that reward may come simply from being told he is a good boy, and that it may not come with some huge gesture.

Cruel?

Dismissive?

Maybe to some. In fact probably to a lot of people.  But then people will see that this is my way, that there will always be positive reinforcement, praise, but that also goes side by side with indifference, dismissiveness.

But, the boy pushed a limit I didn't think he would, but he did.  One of many limits that will be found and pushed, limits that will disappear with his ever growing need to submit and to please.

And he did, the boy pleased me.

The boy did good. *smiles*

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