The need, the want, the sheer desperation to serve and please his Dominant and her lover. There is so much beauty to Domination, to submission, so much beauty and power to surrendering and control.
Some of his posts were touched with a tinge of sadness as the reality had changed his relationship so much, that he had given control of so much to another. Many comments on his own blog telling him that his reality was wrong, that to give so much to another isn't right.
It is his reality. It is his right. And in his words there was such beauty and depth of control and submission. Such sensuality and seductiveness in his need to submit and to go to levels of such subservience and degradation. But something incredibly powerful about the level of control that was over him.
Powerful. Strong. Beauty.
Reading his words, his reflections made me want to write something similarly beautiful, a reflection of something gentle, sensual and seductive.
But, I cannot.
My mind isn't in that place at all.
My mood isn't in that place.
Instead it is in a place of those animalistic thoughts I have blogged about before, a much more basic and primal place.
But even then, in that place, it all comes back to control.
The control I need, but which I also have over the boy, that even though I know he is so desperately frustrated that because I have the control I do, it fills the need! And just as his need to submit deepens, the opposite grows with me, the need to have and to take control. Not always with force, but with sensuality too.
Even today, while doing the most basic of things, my mind has been alive with thoughts of taking the boy to a place where he feels so truly and utterly controlled. Knowing that there is such a level of control over the boy that he would do almost anything.
What an incredibly powerful feeling having such control is.
But, it isn't about just having the control over the cock. Some people believe that when you have control over a mans cock you have total control. I do not believe this. I do not think that is quite true.
Yes there is an incredible amount of control there, but it is still about having control over the person, the mind, every part of him. The boy certainly has more depth than that, but I know, having control over the boy in the way that I do, does catch his attention.
Just as I know when he reads these words his mind will wander, he will see the words control and that the cock will twitch, that the mind and his body will become aroused. I love the way it is so easy to read the boy, his frustrations, to control his body in this way. Control with so few words yet control with such a depth.
And it makes me feel alive.
It makes me excited (and I do not just mean in any sexually excited way) to know that the boy is frustrated, but also that the boy will obey, that he will submit, that he will be excited and willing and subservient. And the deeper his need to submit, the more my need to control grows too. And it excites me that words affect him as much as any touch may do.
And I know, that there are many things which happen to his body, to my cock which arouse and excite him. But I also know that it is so much more than that too, so much more.
I know he will want to reach down and touch himself, so desperate and longing to touch, to edge, to feel the arousal that being controlled brings to him. I know as he reads these words his hands will be longing to do just that, that the thought will cross the boys mind, so desperate, so longing, but not giving into those urges . . .knowing that he cannot touch without permission.
Because he knows that while touching feels good, it isn't about the touching. That it isn't about what happens to my cock that excites the most. It is all about the giving of himself to another. Surrendering control to another . ..to Me.
I sometimes wish he could see my reactions in response to his frustrations. I wish he could see my delighted smiles and laughter when I know just how much he longs to touch, of that battle that goes on between his hand and his need to submit. That he aches to touch, but craves and needs the control. The control that he is addicted to.
And I know he is addicted. And I know that addiction, that need grows more by the day.
And I know that the desire to surrender grows by the day too, and the more it grows the more he needs to surrender, the more he needs to submit. It is as much a part of who he is than the need and desire to control is a part of me.
Touching is good, being controlled is so much better.
There is a sweet pain of tease and denial, and I love how the boy is so easy to tease, yet so easy to deny. And still he submits to the control that I have, his never knowing what may come next, his never knowing what lies in store for the boy. .that despite his growing frustration that I will tease him still.
But it isn't about touching, it is about the control.
Something which is a part of the boy and his submisive need, and something which has always and will always be a part of mine!
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