The week has passed by in a blur of the "daily grind", the usual routine that has so much within it. It is hard to get everything to fit in, in fact, it doesn't.
It is at times like this that brings conflicting feelings to the fore, on the one hand I wish I had the time to really make things happen with the boy and I. To get that time together so that things can grow and progress in the ways that we both have hopes for. But, there is the reality of "life", and that reality is one that prevents it from happening right now.
Yet, in the long term, having the boy in my life has the possibilities of making life so much easier, and that then the reality of "life", wouldn't be such hard work, time consuming or just grinding.
It is a viscious circle really, one could make something easier, but trying to find the time to begin things to make it easier isn't easy!
An old friend of mine (dominant friend just for the record) said to me today, you could do with finding yourself a domestic slave.
But, it is finding that time now.
It is finding the window of opportunity within times when the windows don't get a lot of chance to open.
It is all very frustrating really! Especially when I can so fully see just how things could be, just from opening the window just a little way!
And it goes to show that when it comes down to such D/s relationships, whether they are just beginning or whether they are 24/7, that the daily realities of life will always be there, will always need doing.
But speaking of frustration . . .that is something the boy is continuing to feel. And I have when I have been in the mood to, or wished to, continued to add to his frustration.
I continue to not know how long he has been denied for, but he does say how much more he is feeling the depths of his submission, of how much he is feeling the levels of frustration in not being allowed to touch, let alone have release through orgasm.
But, the boy has also had a "burning" reminder this week following his punishment of the other evening. But, at least the boy will learn that I will not tolerate for him being less than I want, need or expect and he will also learn, that within his training, it does call for strictness, it does call for discipline and it does call for it on a regular, consistent basis.
But, the boy, will also learn that I do not do "do-me" subs!
But I think that through his most recent punishment he may have learned. Firstly that there will be a lot of things he will do which he never thought he would, this has only just begun with him being made to drink his own piss! But also, that there are times that punishment are needed.
He says he did something to please me, it wasn't about pleasing, I didn't make him do something to please me, I made him do it as a punishment! And, despite what may be the experience of "punishments" being fun. As I blogged before, I don't do "funishments".
But, while punishments from a distance are not easy, I have been able to find one that serves as a rather painful reminder for many many hours after the punishment etc. I like that long lingering affect, something that will make him continue to remember and reflect upon what has happened, so that he may learn and grow.
We all learn and grow, we all need things to help us to learn and grow, just that for the boy, this help came in the form of his punishment. But he has learned and is therefore growing.
Just as the depths of his submission are, and this is very much reflected in the way that he is feeling, and just how the smallest of things can send him into those depths. And that is how it should be . . .and that is what I like.
And that is why it is worth the time to train him, to help him learn, to take control, to Dominate. It is why, there will be a window of opportunity, it is why there will be so much more.
Just hope the daily grind gives us a break now and again!
No comments:
Post a Comment