29 January 2011


Is there respect for the submissive or male within an FLR?

Someone who reads my blogs (and it is always nice to hear from you or read your comments on the things that I write *smiles*) asked me this question with regards to respect within an FLR and do I respect the boy or any submissive that I may have?

My answer is: of course!

Why would I not?

For me there is no difference between the "vanilla", D/s, or FLRs, there is a place but more so an essential need for respect within any relationship.   A relationship without respect in my opinion cannot exist, or if it does, it isn't a particularly healthy or positive relationship, it is not a relationship that would work for me, and I would not want to be within a relationship where mutual respect was not a part. 

Just because someone chooses to submit, it doesn't mean that I would not respect them . . .why would I not?

It takes courage to do submit, it takes courage to hand over yourself to someone else, placing yourself, your life into their hands.  It isn't an easy thing to do, knowing that this other person will make all of the decisions within your life, giving up such a level of control is a huge step, one that takes courage and that on its own deserves respect.

Being submissive or submitting isn't weak, it isn't a sign of weakness at all.  It does take strength to do it, courage to do it, and I will always respect the submissive, what the submissive chooses to do in his submission.  I will always be proud of them.

I can understand why some people find it difficult to understand, the existence of respect within a Femdom, D/s or FLR relationship, after all, it is the males choice to ultimately want to give up the "traditional" male role. But making that choice doesn't mean respect goes out of the windoe.

But whatever he may do, whatever he may be asked to do, whatever he may be "forced" to do I would and always will respect him.  He deserves respect for the person that he is first and foremost, for the submissive that he is . . .for the submission that he shows.

Everyone needs or deserves to be respected for who and what they are, for what they do or choose to do.  Yes he may choose to be submissive, yes he may choose to live within a relationship where the female makes all the rules and he lives by them, but he still deserves respect . . .it still warrants respect. It isn't so much respecting the act of submission, it is respecting the person who submits.

And just as the submissive deserves to be respected, it doesn't take away from the fact that the male sub, the male within an FLR will still long, want, need or yearn for the respect of his wife, of his Mistress, of his Dominant.  They just want to be controlled or led by a female. That choice warrants and deserves respect too.  And just because someone is Dominant, doesn't mean that they do not have to earn respect or do not want to be respected either.

A sub hands their life over to the Dominant female, a man within an FLR lives under the rules of the female, not every man can do this, not every man wants to do it and that is perfectly ok,  but those who have the need to do it, the man that has the courage to do it, deserves to be respected just as much as any man within a vanilla based relationship, just as much as a female submissive does, just as much as any person does, in any type of relationship.

Yes there maybe times when we lose respect for another, but that is through actions, as a result of something else, it doesn't mean that the respect wasn't there to begin with, it doesn't mean that the respect wasn't earned, real or valid. 

But the reality to me, for me, is that it is the person that deserves the respect, not because they dominate, not because they submit, not because they do X, Y, or Z, but simply because they are them, because of what they do, because of who and what they are.
And that is why I will always have respect for the boy, my submissive.

1 comment:

  1. I am not so sure if all dominant women share this really cute approach. But it is definitely encouraging to read such lovely and accurate words about the topic.

    If those inhuman dominant women read this post, I think most of them couldn't avoid changing their minds.